I have come to believe that every gratifying thing we do in life, no matter what it is, we are always in some minute way also in a constant state of withdrawing from it. What's more, we can't help it. We may not even be consciously aware of our withdrawal. That is until we become so aware of the withdrawal, that we are by now also addicted to the act of withdrawing. The reason withdrawals happen in the first place is we have become so desensitized to the pleasure "the thing" brings us. And even getting more of it into us cannot bring us back the original joy we once received from it. A profoundly true example of this is marriage.
Withdrawals happen throughout marriage starting from the "I do". And because withdrawals are so diminutive they are, at first, not at all alarming. Over time however, withdrawals show up in many ways. Masked as lack of intimacy, eating in separate rooms, sleeping on the couch, text talk more than real talk, talking to one another through the children are just a few examples. When a marriage is in the throws of full fledge withdrawal there isn't must talking at all. At this point withdrawals may lead him to being more comfortable giving her a present than being present.
Withdrawals are so hard to talk about. I never once met a married couple who is not going through them. Though you won't meet very many willing to talk about them, even with one another.
There is help for withdrawals. But first let me share what I believe is not helpful. Many think that he or she will stay in the marriage because of children, vows, money, house, pride, perception, fear, image, love, companionship, promise, commitment. I will only say that these may help treat the withdrawal, but not one of these has ever stopped withdrawals completely.
The best treatment for withdrawals can be found in one word, GOD. If your marriage follows God's instruction for marriage, you not only will be happier, but you will know how to deal with the withdrawals you are likely experiencing.
For marriage to be the joyous relationship that God intended, the husband and wife must never take one another for granted. We must allow the light of love to endure within hearts that are open to a loving Father and His Son. Thoughtfulness, gratitude, and concern for one another must be ever present in a marriage.
Never both be angry at once.
Never talk at one another.
Never yell at one another, unless the house is on fire.
Let each one strive to yield more often to do the wishes of the other.
Let self-denial be the daily aim and practice of each.
Never taunt with a past mistake.
Neglect the whole world rather than one another.
Never make a remark at the expense of one another.
Never part for a day without kind words to think of during absence.
Never meet without a loving welcome.
Never let the sun go down on your wrath.
Never forget that marriage is ordained of God, and that His blessings alone can make it what it ought to be.
(Eph. 5:22-33; 1 Peter 3:1-7).
Withdrawals happen throughout marriage starting from the "I do". And because withdrawals are so diminutive they are, at first, not at all alarming. Over time however, withdrawals show up in many ways. Masked as lack of intimacy, eating in separate rooms, sleeping on the couch, text talk more than real talk, talking to one another through the children are just a few examples. When a marriage is in the throws of full fledge withdrawal there isn't must talking at all. At this point withdrawals may lead him to being more comfortable giving her a present than being present.
Withdrawals are so hard to talk about. I never once met a married couple who is not going through them. Though you won't meet very many willing to talk about them, even with one another.
There is help for withdrawals. But first let me share what I believe is not helpful. Many think that he or she will stay in the marriage because of children, vows, money, house, pride, perception, fear, image, love, companionship, promise, commitment. I will only say that these may help treat the withdrawal, but not one of these has ever stopped withdrawals completely.
The best treatment for withdrawals can be found in one word, GOD. If your marriage follows God's instruction for marriage, you not only will be happier, but you will know how to deal with the withdrawals you are likely experiencing.
For marriage to be the joyous relationship that God intended, the husband and wife must never take one another for granted. We must allow the light of love to endure within hearts that are open to a loving Father and His Son. Thoughtfulness, gratitude, and concern for one another must be ever present in a marriage.
Never both be angry at once.
Never talk at one another.
Never yell at one another, unless the house is on fire.
Let each one strive to yield more often to do the wishes of the other.
Let self-denial be the daily aim and practice of each.
Never taunt with a past mistake.
Neglect the whole world rather than one another.
Never make a remark at the expense of one another.
Never part for a day without kind words to think of during absence.
Never meet without a loving welcome.
Never let the sun go down on your wrath.
Never forget that marriage is ordained of God, and that His blessings alone can make it what it ought to be.
(Eph. 5:22-33; 1 Peter 3:1-7).
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