A few lost things include losing a Tiffany bean necklace created by Elsa Perritti. This was a designer piece I bought myself for my 50th birthday. I wore it exactly twice. Though I have not completely given up on seeing it again, I lost it about three months after purchase. I bought another one and gave it to my close friend who had brain surgery. She still has hers.
I lost a Anne Klein watch my husband bought me for Christmas last year. I lost it in Morocco celebrating my 50th birthday. I owned it for less than a year. I went online to buy it again before my husband found out but I could not find the exact watch. I had to fess up. He looked at me not especially surprised.
I lost my I-Pad after leaving it on an airplane. The I-Pad I later recovered but that story is far too interesting and with too many layers to reconstruct here. Suffice it to say, it became quite the operation to get reunited with the device but in short, police were involved. Lots and lots of police.
Okay full disclosure, I lost a pair of glasses and noiseless headphones on planes too but at least the glasses I lost in 2014 for those of you keeping count.
I lost not one but two blazers in 2015. The first, the blazer to a blue suit. This one I likely left in a taxi-cab in DC. Good luck finding that one. Still trying to figure out how to salvage wearing of the suit without its blazer. I hate waste, so I will figure it out.
The other blazer was a stand-a-lone CAbi one that I wore just a couple of times as well. I was so sure I left it in a store while trying on clothes over and over and over again. I stalked that store until they found my jacket. The store, Chicos not only found my blazer but they sent it to my home from another state via FedEx without charging me one cent. I was so happy. So what did I do? I I went to my local Chicos and shopped some more. I did not lose anything this time nor did I buy anything.
I lost a pair of sweat pants a good friend gave me with the tags still on them. Likely these were stolen right from under my nose. Perhaps whoever took them thought they belonged more to them than to me? What a pity.
All this losing brings me to this point. When I think back on all those lost things they become just that, things. I would have rather not lost them. This is true. But truly they never really belonged to me either, not really. They were placed into my life as a test of my attachment to them. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. Luke:12:33.
In 2015, I lost my reproductive organs. Losing these was an informed choice between
three of us, my husband, my doctor and myself. My health hung in the balance. Upon waking from surgery I found out that ovarian cancer was not found and I had lost a lot except not my ovaries and through God's grace, not my life.
As this year comes to a close and I reflect on all that I lost, I come to realize, I did not lose anything at all. All the things can be replaced or more important, I can live without them. In all cases, I never regretted the loss of the thing itself as much as I deplored the fact that I had been so careless with my stewardship over it.
So in affect, it wasn't that I had lost, it was that by losing I could not maintain the feeling of having won.
Through the acts of losing I found out something about myself. The only loss that mattered was losing pieces of me. Each loss was a test of losing. The questions being tested were:
1) Where would I turn for remedy and relief?
2) Who would I trust to provide my remedy?
3) How would I internalize the loss?
4) Who do I believe would provide a solution?
5) What was my attachment to the loss?
6) How attached was I to the found?
7) What kind of loser was I?
As I enter into 2016 I will do so through a spirit of winning. I will allow bygones to be bygones and cast aside my attachment to all things ungodly. I will lean on His promises and will not define my days by winning back what I have lost or by chasing excess. I pray that in my losing I have found a new, better part of me.
I will guard my soul with simplicity and find new ways to build up my spirit richly. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. Matt:16:25
The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field, which a man found and hid again. Matt: 13:44.
In 2016, I will move in search of my treasure.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I pray I greet you on my path to happiness!