If there is something you are sitting on, looking past, ignoring, or denying then, I have something to say to you. I speak truth and from a place of having sat, looked, ignored, and denied too. If this is you too, lean in.
I used to think that I could wish it away that there in the corner. I thought I could mask it with fakery. I was convinced I could wean myself from it by pretending it is not there at all. I figured if I just refused to notice it then I did not have to own it. If this is you too, lean in.
I spent so much time building flimsy mental walls all around it, starting other stuff to distract me from it. I threw stuff over it, disguised it, rewrote history about. I pretended It was not of me, no association whatsoever. If this is you too, lean in.
Every once in awhile, every so often, I would ease over to it when no one was looking and poke it, nudge it, just to see if it still had any life left in it. It always did, lots. It was very much alive because I had been feeding it, for as long as it existed. I had kept it alive pretending it was dead. I fed it by sitting on it, looking past it, ignoring it, denying it. I fed it by wishing it away, masking it, faking it. I fed it by building flimsy walls around it. Walls that I thought were holding it back. pushing it down. But my walls simply gave it time to grow and become even stronger. My walls were giving it permission to exist.
No amount of disassociation or rewriting of history can change the truth of it. And the truth is this.
If we don't deal now with what is destroying us we will either die with it or of it. Sadness, depression, destructive habits, negative thoughts, bitterness, unforgiving spirit, lack of confidence, bad relationships, loneliness. Whatever it is.....lean in.
It is time to walk over to that corner and sweep it clean. That there corner has caused trouble enough and it does not deserve to see another day.
I used to think that I could wish it away that there in the corner. I thought I could mask it with fakery. I was convinced I could wean myself from it by pretending it is not there at all. I figured if I just refused to notice it then I did not have to own it. If this is you too, lean in.
I spent so much time building flimsy mental walls all around it, starting other stuff to distract me from it. I threw stuff over it, disguised it, rewrote history about. I pretended It was not of me, no association whatsoever. If this is you too, lean in.
Every once in awhile, every so often, I would ease over to it when no one was looking and poke it, nudge it, just to see if it still had any life left in it. It always did, lots. It was very much alive because I had been feeding it, for as long as it existed. I had kept it alive pretending it was dead. I fed it by sitting on it, looking past it, ignoring it, denying it. I fed it by wishing it away, masking it, faking it. I fed it by building flimsy walls around it. Walls that I thought were holding it back. pushing it down. But my walls simply gave it time to grow and become even stronger. My walls were giving it permission to exist.
No amount of disassociation or rewriting of history can change the truth of it. And the truth is this.
If we don't deal now with what is destroying us we will either die with it or of it. Sadness, depression, destructive habits, negative thoughts, bitterness, unforgiving spirit, lack of confidence, bad relationships, loneliness. Whatever it is.....lean in.
It is time to walk over to that corner and sweep it clean. That there corner has caused trouble enough and it does not deserve to see another day.
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