Relationships are so complicated. They never become uncomplicated no matter how long two people have been together. They just become less complicated in some areas and feverishly more complicated in others. I am highly suspicious whenever anyone who has been with their significant other more than a year tells me everything is "perfect". Perfect my @## I tell myself. Who do they think they are kidding? Things weren't perfect even on my wedding day. Heck, twenty plus years later, I am still slightly ruffled that my side of the family gave more in monetary gifts than his side of the family. We argued about that one half the night, then barely speaking, consummated the blessed union.
I did not sign up for perfect and I definitely haven't thought marriage was uncomplicated since I was about seven. Anyone growing up around two married parents knows "complicated" does not even begin to describe some of the encounters kids have witnessed. I learned at an early age that men are supposed to read women's minds. I also learned that women completely drive men crazy by being passive aggressive. "Honey I am hungry." From that, husbands are supposed to know what she wants, when she wants it and from where she wants it. She may even want him to BBQ outside on the grill in 30 degree weather. He is supposed to know all that just from, "Honey I am hungry."
Men too have their complications. They will argue and procrastinate all week long on her "honey do list" then on Friday night turn the lights down low and put on Luther Vandross.
All jokes aside. Marriage relationships are complicated and they do not come with manuals. If marriages were harder to get out of they would inherently be slower to get into. Unfortunately, neither is the case. Marriage for many is like a revolving door.
So where this leaves us is here. Here is a decision. Not a on the wedding day decision but an everyday decision. Do I stay or do I go decision?
Personally, I think vows should be mandated to include the obligatory, "symptoms of this union will include pain."
"I promise to acknowledge and own my part in your pain. And I promise to work as hard as I am able to make things better for the two of us, always."
Also nice to add would be the following:
"I promise to respect, admire, and appreciate you for who you are, as well as for the person you wish to become."
"I promise to always strive to meet your needs; not out of obligation, but because it delights me to see you happy."
"I promise to nurture your goals and ambitions; to support you through misfortune and celebrate your triumphs."
"I promise to support and protect your freedom; because although our lives are intertwined, your choices are still yours alone."
"I promise to seek a deep understanding of your wishes, your desires, your fears and your dreams."
"I promise to be there for you when you need me, whenever you need me."
"I promise to treat you with compassion over fairness, because we are a team, now and for always."
"I promise to show you, every day, that I know exactly how lucky I am to have you in my life." Source:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-joel/ten-wedding-vows-based-on_b_4762318.html
I hope I have touched upon the important stuff, but after all ...... marriage is beautifully complicated!
I did not sign up for perfect and I definitely haven't thought marriage was uncomplicated since I was about seven. Anyone growing up around two married parents knows "complicated" does not even begin to describe some of the encounters kids have witnessed. I learned at an early age that men are supposed to read women's minds. I also learned that women completely drive men crazy by being passive aggressive. "Honey I am hungry." From that, husbands are supposed to know what she wants, when she wants it and from where she wants it. She may even want him to BBQ outside on the grill in 30 degree weather. He is supposed to know all that just from, "Honey I am hungry."
Men too have their complications. They will argue and procrastinate all week long on her "honey do list" then on Friday night turn the lights down low and put on Luther Vandross.
All jokes aside. Marriage relationships are complicated and they do not come with manuals. If marriages were harder to get out of they would inherently be slower to get into. Unfortunately, neither is the case. Marriage for many is like a revolving door.
So where this leaves us is here. Here is a decision. Not a on the wedding day decision but an everyday decision. Do I stay or do I go decision?
Personally, I think vows should be mandated to include the obligatory, "symptoms of this union will include pain."
"I promise to acknowledge and own my part in your pain. And I promise to work as hard as I am able to make things better for the two of us, always."
Also nice to add would be the following:
"I promise to respect, admire, and appreciate you for who you are, as well as for the person you wish to become."
"I promise to always strive to meet your needs; not out of obligation, but because it delights me to see you happy."
"I promise to nurture your goals and ambitions; to support you through misfortune and celebrate your triumphs."
"I promise to support and protect your freedom; because although our lives are intertwined, your choices are still yours alone."
"I promise to seek a deep understanding of your wishes, your desires, your fears and your dreams."
"I promise to be there for you when you need me, whenever you need me."
"I promise to treat you with compassion over fairness, because we are a team, now and for always."
"I promise to show you, every day, that I know exactly how lucky I am to have you in my life." Source:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-joel/ten-wedding-vows-based-on_b_4762318.html
I hope I have touched upon the important stuff, but after all ...... marriage is beautifully complicated!
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