I am talking about something hard to even imagine. Hard because when I became a new bride I was completely blinded by love. Blinded by fairy tales, soap operas, magazine features, sappy chick flicks, tall tale girlfriend reencounters, soothing love ballads, all shaping my mirage of what marriage looks like and should feel like. And then I was lucky enough to get a nice taste of my blindness and then quickly transitionrd into my reality of marriage.
I stopped comparing myself to other brides a long. long, long time ago. If I didn't I probably would not be married today. Such and such got a diamond bracelet on her 1st anniversary. Such and such gets fresh flowers from her husband every Friday. Such and such's husband never ever goes to bed angry and he never forgets to open her car door. She does not even have to ask him. Such and such couple is always displaying PDA.
My marriage has lasted nearly a quarter century. I am willing to admit it has not always been easy, far from it in fact. Many a time I would of gladly opted for some fairy tale exchanges. But in reality, given all the work that goes into building a lasting marriage, for me it has come down to this.
If I want this to work. If I want to feel married and remain in love with my marriage, I must be willing to start over as friends every single day. I must be truly invested in being friends with the man I choose to love. That one decision on my part has opened a lot of doors, softened a lot of angry moments, generated many a flowers and brought a lot of jewelry into my life.
I stopped comparing myself to other brides a long. long, long time ago. If I didn't I probably would not be married today. Such and such got a diamond bracelet on her 1st anniversary. Such and such gets fresh flowers from her husband every Friday. Such and such's husband never ever goes to bed angry and he never forgets to open her car door. She does not even have to ask him. Such and such couple is always displaying PDA.
My marriage has lasted nearly a quarter century. I am willing to admit it has not always been easy, far from it in fact. Many a time I would of gladly opted for some fairy tale exchanges. But in reality, given all the work that goes into building a lasting marriage, for me it has come down to this.
If I want this to work. If I want to feel married and remain in love with my marriage, I must be willing to start over as friends every single day. I must be truly invested in being friends with the man I choose to love. That one decision on my part has opened a lot of doors, softened a lot of angry moments, generated many a flowers and brought a lot of jewelry into my life.
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