Uncontained chaos stems from split ends. Trichoptillosis schizotrichia and informally split ends, is the splitting, weakening or fraying of the hair shaft due to excessive heat and mechanical stress. Split ends can be treated by reducing or eliminating the causes, trimming or by removing the hair altogether. Now that may sound extreme to some. Left untreated, the hair shaft is forever damaged making it prone to more damage in the future. Split ends do not get better on their own, ever. Split ends must be addressed or that same strand of hair will endure multiple splits ultimately resulting in a total breakage.
Love relationship are just like split ends. Two rules of thought when treating split ends, trim them often and don't rely on outside products to "heal" the split ends. The same can be said for love relationships. The work starts within. You must condition the relationship, rid it of dry spots, keep it healthy and moisturized. Very importantly, you don't have to comb out every knot and you don't have to comb it too hard. If you over comb it attempting to detangle every imperfection you will end up with a lot of shedding from too much pressure. Before long the relationship will appear thin and malnourished, over processed and strained. You will have invited in chaos.
There is the chaos theory which is expect the unexpected, or the science of surprise. In love relationships with chaos and split ends you have disorder, disarray, havoc, commotion, upheaval and distrust. And you have each of these in spades. There are not enough closets to hide away the split ends. You must come together and begin treating the shaft. No surprise to either of you that it will take a lot of work to get healthy, each doing his/her part consistently. When it is time to trim, each must be willing to trim generously those parts of themselves that are not helping restore the split ends. And if you do this, both do this, over time the life will come back into the relationship and the relationship will grow even stronger and longer than either of you anticipated.
Love relationships can come back strong from split ends; many do and yours can too.