Safely arriving at 23

Today I have been married to my best friend for twenty-three years. They have not all been easy. Shucks, most have not been easy. Easy is a choice. I would give anything for 23 more.

Twenty-three not so easy suggestions for making marriage easier:

1- Learn your bible and what it says about the man's and woman's role in a marriage. The next time you want to pull out your hair because things are falling  apart, refer to the scripture and look for not how he/she is misbehaving but how you have stepped in it. The scripture is clear following it is when it can become murky.

2- You don't have to like the other person always but you must love them always.
3- Ask not what your spouse can do for you but what you can do for your spouse.
4- Treat the marriage like a marathon not a sprint. Slow things down, enjoy each moment.
5- Learn to say "I am sorry" and try at least 51% of the time to mean it.

6- Women let him on top sometimes. Not that top! Allow him to take charge in his home.
7- Fix his plate. Even when you don't want to, fix his plate. And the plate can mean anything. If you fix his plate, he will always eat at home.
8- Don't allow anyone to come between your marriage ever. And this includes the children. Kids can smell weakness/broken and they will act out on it.
9- Take an interest in the other person's interests sometimes. This may involve sitting through an opera or watching a full day of golf TV. No one ever died from boredom and showing some interest means so much to the other person, for real.
10-Ask more questions than you assume.

11-Maintain your indoor voice when discussing kids, finances, sex, religion, politics.
12-Agree to disagree. Don't run every issue into the ground. Let go and let God.
13-Arguing is not the same thing as talking. Loud does not equal right. Just because he stopped talking first does not make her right. Right is when you listened more than you talked. It is when you feel progress and you remember why you started arguing in the first place. Right is when you settled your differences on the same calendar day as when you began arguing.
14-Love making starts while you are both drying the dinner dishes. It is called foreplay. It begins with being helpful to one another in every way imaginable everyday.
15- Don't do stupid things just to get him to fix it. There are other ways to get his attention.

16- Spend time alone and often. Just you two.
17- Remind them of what attracts you to them. Ask for what you want from them.
18-Give more than you take. Don't keep a list.
19- Keep other people out of your business.
20- Protect your relationship like it is a treasure trove.
21- Stay open to learning new things apart and together. Grow.
22- Never ever put your spouse down in front of others. Not even before God.
23- Be one another's backbone. Celebrate your together awesomeness!