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Riding Sidecar

1/11/2016

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When I was young I felt invincible. There was nothing I could not do, imagine, or realize in my virgin mind. I was just naïve enough to believe that every fragment of my imaginary dream world was achievable. In my circle, we had future astronauts, Presidents of the United States, doctors who cured cancer and billionaires with maids, to name a few. The innocence of dreaming big was not lost on us. But somewhere along the way something happened in many of us. This something was slow and perhaps non-intentional in nature. But like a thief in the night our dreams were snatched away and for many we took a sidecar to our destiny.
 
Sidecar is by definition when you allow someone else to navigate your course. It is the stronger force at the wheel choosing the final direction.  When one is riding sidecar they are yielding to the driver at the wheel. They de facto become an appendage in their own journey, riding uncertain of their final destination. The driver will make statements like right Is better than left, there is no time to stop and ask directions, I know what is best here, just be patient, trust, yield to the one holding the map.
While paying for the gas, the person riding sidecar is helpless and held hostage. Where they end up becomes somebody’s else plan for them. Without taking the wheel, they are stuck riding from a seat with no empowerment. And before very long, they become lost in their one and only life, left sidecar and feeling like they may have almost gotten somewhere. They completely surrendered to voices of naysay, not now, that will take too long, that is too expensive, those skills are too specialized, that would mean moving, that is already being done, you're too old, that is not for you etc.
 
It does not have to be this way. Not one bit. Life should not be a collection of almosts. I am sure almosts is not even a word. You can avoid almosts by not giving almost power over you. And you do this through a dogged determination not to surrender to any other man, woman or human affairs pertaining to your vision of self. You do not give permission to anyone to make decisions for you that change who you are becoming without your expressed consent stemming from your head and validated by your heart. Just do not do it. If you want somebody’s opinion, ask for it. But do not hand your keys or your wheel over. And when someone else tries to assert themselves, you direct them back to their life. Kindly ask them to back step out of your dream. You've got this. And if you don't have it, you soon will. Your way!

I told both of my children I wanted one or both of them to become a doctor when they grow up. They both said no and both meant it too. I handed them back the wheel and got the heck out of their way. If they have their way, one day I will know an Oscar winning actress and a phenomenal architect. Their choice at their wheel.

If I am lucky, old and really need it, they may allow me to ride sidecar in the real sense. I am good with that. But while we have breath, the only thing old is the excuses we keep giving ourselves for not jumping into our own lives and taking over.

#DoItYourWay2016

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    La Detra Joy

    I love being around people. I would rather live falling than break my spirit never trying anything hard. This blog is about trying and retrying life.

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