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Refitting

10/10/2014

5 Comments

 
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I almost never clean out my closets. Even when I can't fit another item on a hanger, I just keep stuffing things into an already very cluttered space. Don't get me wrong, I am not what you might call a hoarder. I can say this because everything is mostly organized appearing almost neat. There is just a lot of it, squeezed into small spaces. Too much of everything. I hang onto things mostly because at one time I made a choice to acquire an item even if I have no special interest in it presently. I keep it around telling myself who knows, one day it may come back into fashion. No sense in throwing it out. Sometimes I hang onto a thing because I want to remember how it made me feel back then.

Our lives are like that too. We keep cramming people, places and things into our finite space. We make time for events that don't fit our lives. We hang with people that we have clearly outgrown. Rather than being discerning and scrutinizing of who we hang with, it is easier to just tolerate the emotional squeeze we feel when that person comes around. Thing is when something doesn't fit, you look and act like it doesn't fit. So why do we live our lives not fitting?  How about refitting your life?

Refitting is about sorting out. Going inside ourselves and taking stock of what is going on within us and around us. The older I get the fewer people I connect with. This has been a purposeful part of my refitting. Refitting is about simplicity, authenticity, fortitude and loyalty. These are the core characteristics I value most in my making connections with people within my finite space.

Refitting is also about letting go of people, places and things that don't go with you anymore. Like your closet, if you haven't worn a thing in the past 12 months you must question why you hang onto it. Same concept with refitting. If you no longer have a connection with someone you can do one of two things,  reconnect or disconnect. The answer is not to pretend to connect. Pretending to connect just adds to your clutter and takes away from the finite space where real connections need your time and attention.

Refitting is not about your love and respect for others. It is more about your effort and interest in fostering the elements of the relationship you value.  Again mine are simplicity, authenticity, fortitude and loyalty. I want the simplicity of a stress-free relationship with this person. I want to know that our relationship is transparent and real in every sense of the word. I want to feel that our bond is genuine and lasting. And I need most to feel that it is sticky. We are in one another's corner, always.

Refitting has freed me up. I look better and feel better inside and out.

5 Comments
Earnest Marcus McGaha
10/10/2014 12:48:30 am

I IDENTIFY WITH, YOU!

Reply
Gayle Williams link
10/10/2014 02:11:39 am

I so identify with you. Actually I had this conversation with a client that was having a hard time refitting some relationships. You have your finger on the pulse of us all.

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Tracey Kirkland
10/11/2017 06:18:20 am

Thank you La Detra, this is so timely.

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WMC
10/10/2018 09:05:08 am

Shared, this because I believe many of my friends, like myself need to read, and begin refitting our lives.

Reply
La Detra link
10/10/2018 09:08:30 am

Thank you for sharing.

Reply



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    La Detra Joy

    I love being around people. I would rather live falling than break my spirit never trying anything hard. This blog is about trying and retrying life.

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