When you are lonely and don't feel full, over time you start to adjust what you will settle for. You will make up happy endings where there are none to be found. You will lie, mostly to self. You will reset your standards usually in the downward position. By doing this you create an invitation for Problem. It doesn't take long. You can count to one hundred by twos, Problem is on the way.
By the time Problem makes it to you, chances are you will accept just about anything. That's not what you tell yourself of course, but it is true and most deeply inside you know that too. Problem creeps up on you seemingly having the appearance of Helpful at first. That time of having Helpful on the scene is just about the time needed for Problem to scope things out, study the surroundings. By the time you have caught onto Problem, things have changed dramatically starting from the time you created that first invitation. Problem has settled in by now and you are busy as a beaver trying to no avail to rewind your environment. Problem is winning. And before long, other Problems are ushered in.
None of this would have been possible if only. If only she had set standards that were unbendable. Problem doesn't stick around when there is no place to sit down. Problem doesn't stay where unwelcome. Problem can't settle where the ground does not allow Problem to grow.
Problem likes easy. And when it ain't easy for Problem to take over, Problem goes away and you settle back into lonely and not full. The problem was never Problem.