People are really good at hiding behind their true selves. We all share what we want others to know. What you don't know, we don't want you to know. I see it everyday. People who paint these pictures of themselves by enlisting artifacts and tangibles. Things like the house they live in, car they drive, their choice in clothes, shoes, jewelry, where they send their kids to play, the things they spend their time talking about. All items stitched into their layers designed to display a canvas of something they are fully invested in you believing. And God help planet earth if you don't take notice. If you act arbitrary or indifferent toward their canvas. What then?
I think this painting on display is all well and good, all be it I much prefer seeing a few additional layers stitched in. These layers I call the plain Jane layers. Plain Jane because they can't be bought. They are not for sale. They don't come on parking lots, on store shelves or from dialing 1-800 numbers. They are values. Values that don't come off and on depending on who is stopping by or who else is expected to be there or because it is nice to be seen in it. These layers exist because they are innately a part of knowing you.
They don't look for attention, they are the attention. They are things like, honesty, integrity, sharing, caring, listening, sticking, trusting. They are layers woven into consistency, predictability, available, and lasting. They are layers like discretion, flexible, and loyal. Values that once they land they stay put no matter who is looking.
And you will know you have them if someone is asked to describe how they know you and they don't begin or end with a single artifact or tangible.