Well my reason for writing begins with simply two words, "forgive yourself". Do this if you are ready to do this.
Our paths crossed on the night of 2/22/14. That is when I gathered thirty of my closest friends and family to The Georgian Terrace in high anticipation of celebrating my husband's 50th birthday less than 200 feet from where you would be the highlight of our evening together, serenading the audience causing splendor and blush amongst us all. Included in the audience my husband Bob's 70-something parents, married 55 years. We were excited, overjoyed at the opportunity to spend time with one another and delighted to know we would climax our evening listening to your soulful sounds.
We received word a mere 90 minutes before curtain call that you were ill and would not be performing. I was angry, hurt, embarrassed and sad. Our guests were supportive, less-stunned and resilient. We had a fantastic time despite your decision to cancel. I called your act selfish and drug-related. Let me say up front, I forgive you.
Robin, I have been married 21 years, 22 in June of this year. You have been married 8. I have two children, you have one. We both love our spouse no doubt. In the nearly quarter century I have been married I have learned a lot. Allow me to school you if you have a listening ear.
I have learned that love does not come easy. It is work work work. It is about sacrifice and swallowing a lot of pride and hurt. Love is about commitment and honesty and mostly about devout friendship even if one or both of you is feeling completely unfriendly in moments or days or months. Marriage comes with even a heftier measure. Marriage is about character. It is a reflection of what we are willing to invest to esteem ourselves to our life partner and our offspring. Marriage is not selfish, sneaky, dirty, disrespectful or painful.
Robin not sure you are a religious person. I do hope that you are a centered person. We all have demons. We have deeds and actions and thoughts we shove down and work hard to never repeat. If we don't fix or control the demons they control us and ultimately destroy us. That is the way the universe works. It is always trying to correct itself whether we are willing participants or not.
I have read that your wife Paula wants a divorce. That is a word I have personally never used in my nearly 22 years of marriage but I tell you this. If I ever used the word I would intend to manifest it to its conclusion. Divorce to women means we are tired. We are beyond hurting. We are willing to hurt alone rather than hurt with you by our side. We want to heal and you are not seen as being a substantial part of that healing. We may even love you but being married to you is not enough to feed the friendship we want from the marriage relationship.
My prayer for you now is you will gather your strength and walk spirited toward the light of healing yourself and then your marriage.
Your friend and sister of the ballad kind, La Detra