There are so many fragments of ourselves that we deny for reasons only we know. Fragments that we shove to the back of our black consciousness. We appear to fear the very life behind them as if found out would make us less than. Their viability is ignored, shoved into an oblivious state of being, yes denied. On the surface we display an okayness with the world and with our boldness, our superior attitude and ability to out talk or outwit others. Our true and more intended essence that lies beneath is held hostage by none other than our confused selves. Secretly we curse that part of us that blocks our greatest blessing. We have a scared and cowardly side, but on the outside we curse others, especially those who recognize our tipping point. That point of truth that we are no better than they are. No better than those we pretend we exist to help.
We allow ourselves to take refuse in a somber state, refusing to listen to a voice inside us that puts the brakes on our stupid ways and if told in truth our satisfaction in convincing ourselves we must be better than them because how else could we have arrived at such a wonderful eltist space.
We keep others at a safe distance hoping not to be completely found out, exposed for our hyprosy as we claim to be "that one" selected to fix broken systems in our community. We tell ourselves quite convincingly that no one else can do it better, faster and with greater success. So we sit frozen swearing a not so quiet swear toward those who look like us and those who do not.
On rare occasions they fight back and when they don't we mistaken thier silence for complicity. They must be jealous or unable or ill equipped to keep up. It can't be that our actions have become inconsequential, long dismissed as self-serving, embarassing and yes annoying to those around us. We can't see that their silence is our gift. Being exposed by a community that looks like you as someone who is completely inconsequential would sting no matter the front you try to put on it.
We become our own worst enemy. It is not the fault of others on the battlefield that our victory has eluded us. Not at all. It is the fault of the soldier within. That part of us that refuses to believe that just because we sit at a bigger table does not mean we were invited there to feast. We convince ourselves yet again that we are special or chosen or the best suitable to win the battle ahead.
And then when we fail to score, not even punted or kicked a long shot we wonder why no one is cheering or left in the stand. What they remembered, those in our community is the effort behind our try. We want to claim our victory yet did nothing of what it takes to finish.
So as we leave the field defeated we watch as our community sits our final quarter out, waiting to see how "we" do it. And for what?
Now Omarosa, hear this from someone who chose to say WE versus YOU throughout in hopes that you might think I was talking about someone else. I mostly needed you to read this to the end.
So if you want something, then put your personal skin in the game. No matter what "that" is. We in the crowd just want to see your genuine pursuit of it for all.
And here is the big secret untold.......even when you came up short......many like me were rooting for you...........we just wanted to see the truth behind your TRY FOR US ALL!
So now my sister I leave you with this. And I must leave you to walk this out on your own.
Love us unconditionally; love yourself the same
Live your personal best
Show us you exist with a quality of excellence in your life
Remind yourself that no matter what ...... WE MUST...and WE TOGETHER!
Don't pawn "that" off on tomorrow. Don't hide behind that next $10,000 that may never come. Know that not all kisses are good kisses.
Become the song you sing about. Transcend the character you read about. Realize that voice you dream about!
No charge. Save your money for the work ahead. LW