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One amazing deal

8/26/2014

4 Comments

 
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When I was young I dreamed of growing up and becoming filthy rich. I wanted to dress like the people I saw in magazines while traveling to exotic places I could not even spell. I imagined traveling first class, hob knobbing with the rich and famous. I had it all figured out, picture perfect in my mind. I would grow up, become super rich, live in a really big house with too much of everything and live out one big over the top life. I saw the Hollywood types on the big and little screen with perfect hair and perfect teeth. They were never alone surrounded by entourages calling their names, pulling at their coat tails. These icons all wore big audacious smiles with perfect diction. They never wore the same shoes twice. They chose their jewels based on latest trends. To me, these perfect people with their perfect lives had one amazing deal. I watched through my peep hole yearning for my chance at their life.

I grew up very without all those Hollywood things. I grew up poor but not without. I heard "no" more than I heard "yes". I was raised waiting for pay day and food stamps. We made things more than we bought things. One Christmas the only gift under the tree was a single skateboard to share among four children. We ate at home, vacationed at camp sights, had birthday parties in the living room. I grew up hanging with an entourage of neighborhood kids. We loaned out our jeans, toys, text books, and bicycles. We poked our fingers and became blood sisters/brothers. We pitched in our coins and shared chips, sodas, and ice pops. We sat under street lights and swore secrecy, confessed inner thoughts and pinky-swore never-to-repeat forgettable deeds. Under one of these streetlights I dreamed my dream of growing up and becoming somebody else. Somebody with one amazing deal.

I am all grown up now. My dream of becoming super rich unrealized. My hope of becoming somebody else undone. Instead, I grew up and became me. My me has meant working really hard at remaining me. Even though I have a lot of resources, all grown up, I find I would rather make things than buy things. I love to cook at home as much as I love eating out. I would rather save money, invest money, build wealth than spend money on things with depreciating value.

My "entourage" has not changed much since high school and college. I place more value on old friendships versus new encounters. I do travel to places I can't spell and take great pleasure in sharing my travel with others. I wear my shoes down to the sole and trade dresses with my besties. I share my soul with others and keep secrets like nobody's business. I have been to Hollywood and don't particularly like it. Not authentic. No one looks really happy. A façade of make believe. Too many dealings.

Looking back I realize it is I who got one amazing deal. I grew up and became simply me.

4 Comments
Fred Hart
8/26/2014 03:18:06 am

It was neat when I finally realized I wanted to read my script instead of someone else's

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link
8/26/2014 03:18:59 am

I HEARD THAT!

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kisha wiley
8/26/2014 03:20:05 am

You have inspired me to pick my journal and pen back up. Not ready to share thoughts with public but definitely ready and needing to see them on paper. Thanks for helping me remember the healing power of journaling

Reply
La Detra
8/26/2014 03:21:23 am

And my sister we will be ready when you are ready!! Lovely.

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    La Detra Joy

    I love being around people. I would rather live falling than break my spirit never trying anything hard. This blog is about trying and retrying life.

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