Never have I ever......

.....regretted being slow getting to the hip side of the universe. I grew up and never did drugs, ever. The one time I tried to mimic "hip", I along with a couple of high school girlfriends found a strip of cardboard, rolled straw and dry grass from the yard into it, lit it under the dim lit street lights in front of our house, and pretended to get high.

My oldest brother happened upon our stupidity and ashed the rolled "grass" out on my forearm. Yes, he took the "joint" from my hands, insisted I hold out my arm and then he put out the cherry of the blunt by burning it into my inside arm. I never told anyone until now and I "never have I ever" done any drugs before or since. I do carry the cylinder brand on my forearm as a reminder to this very day.

Never have I ever regretted the look in his eyes that said, "No, not you too! I will not allow it. You are not allowed on this path."  His eyes looked guilty, desperate, and anxious. I was 16 years old with one foot out the door already. He was not going to allow me to slip. So he did the unthinkable, he burned sense into me. I never even told momma.

Thinking back, never have I ever blamed him. I saw what drugs were doing to him and others in my family. I was his hope. Hope that it did not have to end badly for all of us.

So I wear a small scar now, so that I don't have to be forever scarred by a choice that surely would not have ended with "never have I ever."