I do not punish myself for who I am. I don't apologize for my frailties. I don't want being a good Christian to become punitive or exhausting for me. I also don't believe becoming perfect is the central purpose to serving God. He died for my prior sins and sins to come. Being better, becoming better, sustaining better for longer periods of time is expected. Paul explained in Philippians 3:12-14 that he was not already perfect, but that he kept pressing on, day by day, towards the mark of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Pressing forward toward perfection is key.
As a Christian who seeks to be Christ-like allows me to set my own faith walk milestones. Each day I awake thanking God for his mercy and grace. I am especially thankful when I am in turmoil and behaving badly. This is when I need his grace most. I am the first to say, I know intensely the feeling of being out of sync with God's plan for my life. I know it hurts him when he sees my one step forward, two steps backward routine. Best thing though, he knows my heart. He knows I will pick myself back up and spring forward again. "There is not a righteous man on earth who does what is right and never sins." Ecclesiastes 7:20
I don't live to make God happy. I don't have to. I live in a way that limits his unhappiness with me because of my actions. Jesus lived and died in order that we can make sin mistakes, grow out of them and then draw closer to him. He died on the cross, shed his blood, and rose again so that we can all choose him and choose to want to serve him by striving for perfection. So when I show him through my actions, my tongue and my heart how much I love the choice I made in serving him....my heart does somersaults.
Thank you Jesus for being my Lord and Savior. Thank you for creating me and choosing my life as your vessel. I am getting better at serving you. I hope your heart does a somersault when you think of me. Amen
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6