I dreamed in an environment where dreams come true did not come easy. Poor, single parenting, the fly in the milk, few role models sort of upbringing. Thank God dreams did not cost money, they just cost me real imagination.
I was the only of my friends to leave Utah after high school for college out of state. Leaving home opened me up to a million more dreams I never knew existed. For the first time, I saw outside of my cloister people living their dreams. People who looked liked me. Real dreams come true.
Oh the nights I cried because I dreamt only to awake to unrealized dreams. I slapped my eyes, silly me, how dare you think you were different, I sobbed? I cursed those dreams some mornings. Why not me cried out with each new dawn?
And then the more I was exposed to the more I wanted something new, something from the other side of the tracks I thought. This is the point where things got complicated. Complicated because I did not want as much to escape my situation as much as I wanted to arrive at a new vocation in life. Somewhere from my dreams. I was willing to accept just a bit of the dream around its edges just enough to keep me believing that my dreams were as meaningful as anyone's.
And then somewhere along the way something quite magical happened, slowly really. Little tiny pieces of my dream started to fall into place. College education, obtaining that challenging job in a big city, finding love, getting an ivy league education, becoming a bride, and after a years of trying in a state of dream deferred ....... motherhood. Next entrepreneurship.
I never dreamed that first million dollars in the bank, never asked for it either. Actually never had a numeric dream at all. I only had dreams that left me feeling whole. That left me feeling relevant and useful to the world around me. A million dreams have now left me with a million reasons to dream the next million.
I want that for everyone, the will to dream in vivid color and being open to the possibilities that come in little tiny pieces at a time. It is about your personal dream trajectory. It is never allowable for one moment for others to reconstruct or deconstruct the dream inside you.
Today I still dream. I mostly dream about the world around me and my emerging role in it. I dream of seeing more of the world while in good health and alongside my children. I dream of being an ambassador of truth and good and providing buoyancy in other's. I dream of believing the possibilities of impossibilities.