Each day when her father returned from work, he removed his work boots before entering the home and then he made a B-line for his bride. Wherever he found her, he knelt down on his knees and covered her with kisses while caressing her softly. This is the young groom, the middle-aged groom and the aging groom. He did the same each and every day. They were a team. They were deeply in love. They stuck.
I was so overtaken by this story that I made my friend pinky-promise every word of it was true, no exaggeration and was without refute. She laughed at me. She told me her parents' shenanigans were adoringly well-known among her friends. They teased her about it. "Tell your parents to get a room", they joked. They had a room, they had the entire house. And they used it, so I was told.
I believe that lightning is possible in every relationship between two people who care deeply and respectfully for each other. I believe without a doubt, lightning can come from glances, from thoughtful indiscriminate acts, from spontaneous moments with less is more words peppered over with authenticity.
I believe lightning occurs best when conditions are welcoming. In order to have lightning a charge must occur between one cloud and another cloud or between a cloud and the ground. In either case it takes two to tango. In a loveless one-sided relationship there can't be lightning but there will be thunder. Lots of thunder.
We must make room for what we want in our relationship. My sister often tells me, "A closed mouth does not get fed." We must ask for what we want. We must be willing to give generously ahead of our wants. And we must be willing to give up or give in when our wants conflict with the collective ability to remain in harmony. I find when both people are willing to trade-off giving in, they become more willing to want to see their partner's desires realized. Said another way, with constant giving and receiving in a way that is balanced yields two people desperate to make the other person happy.
When one person is always giving and the other always taking this births resentment and coldness. Lightning rarely strikes in cold environments.
Lightning comes when there is room left for it. And when it strikes we find houses on fire, just like at my friend's parents home. Shocking? Doesn't have to be. Make room for your happiness.