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It is in the knowing

5/6/2016

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We move around in spaces of comfort believing that we are led where we belong. We learn to listen longer to sounds unfamiliar to us, allowing ourselves to tip-toe until they become familiar and comfortable. Because we well-know what it feels like to be too trusting of a situation only to be left in a cloud of disappointment because we jumped in too soon ignoring that slow down voice that was sent to rescue us. We jumped in knowing the risk but not the true cost. The cost that sticks around keeping us awake at night and in bed during times we should be awake and active.

The caution signs were there. They are always there. But because we are anxious for a way out of something old and into something new we put blinders on truths staring us in the face. We pretend that we can mitigate any consequence that surely will come. We make excuses for behaving stupidly. Oh the excuses which become more laughable the longer they are told and the intensity in which they are delivered.

We do things to feel better moment by moment forgetting that days follow moments and those days must be fed too. But no. We seek momentary fixes to long term problems that did not appear overnight. These problems came without expiration dates because mostly no one was there to look after them. These problems have been dressed up, disguised as complacency and happy moments. When these problems start to show real cracks we bring out the spackle and do our best to mask the oozing destruction beneath. All this so we can step right back into pretending life happens and no one has to pay the piper.

But it is in the knowing that the piper will be paid that jolts us back. The piper must be paid. It is in the knowing that nothing we initiate comes without a price. The true cost depends on how long we let it sit pretending it does not exist.

We have a real choice to stand up to our truth, undress it, welcome it home. And begin moment by moment to free it up to live another day without the added burden of pretending it just now showed up out of nowhere and you only just met. And the very worst thing about our pretending is we teach those around us how to treat us.
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    La Detra Joy

    I love being around people. I would rather live falling than break my spirit never trying anything hard. This blog is about trying and retrying life.

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