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I never wanted to get married: A true story

6/19/2016

1 Comment

 
I remember vividly the moment I realized my father was not returning home to my family from Vietnam. He was coming back, just not to us, not to me. I was six. Knowing that, internalizing that changed me. I knew from that moment on I never wanted to get married. I wanted to be married.People get married a lot. It takes everything you are made of to be married. Whomever chose me as their bride would have to want to be married too.
...
My mother had sent my dad A Dear John Letter. I did not learn that until I was 28, a mere month before my own wedding. Dad wanted me to have a full picture of him. He wanted me to know he never left of his own choosing.
For twenty plus years I had lived believing my dad had divorced me when he and my mother split. It had only increased my resolve, no getting married, only being married mattered to me. I have been married 24 years.
I contribute my early convictions to being married this long. Being married is a million mile distance from getting married. It is the hardest and best thing wrapped in one. Some days love is not enough. That is truth telling. I never want my children to experience a moment of daddy is not coming home.
When my husband proposed to me on his knees he said I only want to do this once. Please don't say yes if you are not in this for forever. It is my promise and acceptance of his only hard ask that keeps me on course during turbulent times. We want the same thing-we want to be married. We want to be married to one another. We became married on Father's Day 1992.

1 Comment
Mary H Reynolds
9/28/2016 09:42:10 pm

I could not wait to read fragments of this book. Now to be able to buy the book myself, I'm such a depressed introvert when I see so much of myself in your stories. It's so hard to believe there are others with the same drive and determination and no real direction to go. La Detra you give me so much hope and joy, thank you I can slowly feel life entering into my soul again. My heart wants to know how I can accomplish this even though my surroundings are bleak. I overcame this before and I'm determined to do it again. This time God has sent me help and guidance and I must let them help me. All things can be accomplished through Christ our Lord. Amen

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    La Detra Joy

    I love being around people. I would rather live falling than break my spirit never trying anything hard. This blog is about trying and retrying life.

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