I did not mean to

For those who may need a little new meaning: Not meant for just anyone

I know you did not mean to. So I am going to give you an out. The out is that you don't have to keep saying it. By that I mean I have heard it a million times. And guess what? I know you did not mean to because if I believed you meant to, I would have left you a long time ago. The problem for me now though is precisely that...your did not mean to.

Let's examine all the things you do not mean to do. Use punishing words directed toward me, withhold affection, intentionally deceive me, allow things to fester, become apathetic, underestimate my value, check out, stay out, freak out when you do not get your way. Did I leave anything out?

So yes, I realize you did not mean to. We can agree on that point. What follows though is my point.

What makes matters worse is the fact that by not meaning to, you do anyway. Everything you do or don't do under the protective shield of "Did not mean to" you still do. Whether you meant to or not, you are consistently able to follow through with it. 

You follow through because it is part of who you are. In short, it does not matter if you meant to, you chose to and what you did not mean to do still hurts. So your not meaning to does not make it less painful.

So now comes my true meaning. I am going to do something I meant to do a long time ago. I am no longer going to accept your non-meaningful intentions. From this point forward, I will look at you through the lens of the action itself. Let the meaning fall where it may. We are lifting that protective shield and exposing meaning for what it really is. And in case you were wondering, I meant every word.
I meant to.