Elephants indeed remember injuries and hold grudges against their abusers. For example, one study of African elephants found that the animals react negatively to the sight and scent of clothing worn by members of a nearby Maasai tribe of people [source: BBC News] who threw spears at them.
There are an infinite number of ways people will signal how you have treated them. The question for you is do you care?
The time that passes between their initiating contact.
Conversations without substance.
Procrastinations of every dimension. You fill in the blank, because inside you know.
Excuses for not providing you desired behaviors including intimacy, connection, time.
Lack of curiosity or interest in your life.
Attention only to the routines of your day not the energy behind it.
No cheers or accolades only judgement and criticism.
Passing of time with increasing spaces that do not include you.
Not choosing. A perpetual state of emotional limbo.
You might convince yourself that by behaving this way toward you they have acted egregiously. You will believe this without once considering your previous bad acts. You will wonder through your anger how they can fix themselves to treat you so poorly, so matter of fact disdainly?
While it is your unregistered memory that fails you, it is their pain you are feeling. A pain created through memories you created in their spirit. A list that you first manifest. One that you projected on them and now they mirror it back to you.
This carcass remains, do you care?