Fast forward two decades. No prince per se, no castle, and definitely no white horse. When still wet behind the ears I demanded my trifecta from marriage....love, in love and eternal commitment forever and ever amen. What I failed to realize, a trifecta is not something that happens upon you, it is something you work at over and over and over and over again. A trifecta only happens after you have really been through something too. Something between you and God. Now some other things may necessarily happen in the relationship. But this something must happen inside of you allowing your trifecta to spring forth. What happens? What happens is you let go of that prince, that white horse and yes that castle. You can still have the merry man. But that too happens over and over and over and over in bits and pieces and only after you spring forth your willingness to love, be in love and to commit even at times your merry man is not giving you that mutual trifecta bounce back. In these times you can't muster the slightest interest to call him "big papa" but you relish in hearing your babies call him "daddy". I will give you a second to take that in.
You may have to 'behave' in trifecta before ever realizing the true trifecta in your marriage relationship. Once you achieve it you will do most anything to maintain it or restore it. That word is called forgiveness.
What can you, what must you do to achieve your trifecta? First, be willing to lower any unrealistic expectations. What I mean is don't demand a Superman. Be willing to root for Robin. Besides, Robin did all the cool heavy lifting, wore the nicer suit up, and was home most nights in time for dinner. Second, let the relationship breath.... Be its own oxygen. Don't check its pulse every 5 minutes. I have rarely met a married man who wanted to be unmarried to his current wife. Use that five minutes to "check yourself". Ask yourself, am I doing unto him what I expect unto me..... emotionally, spiritually, respectfully? Am I breathing life into this marriage? And third, suit up for the marathon. Marriage is not measured in years but in decades, It is not dreamed, it is realized. Marriage is not run it is paced. It is not won, it is a labor of love, in love and ongoing commitment between two players who are used to winning!