I call this first one "The you don't want to go with me, you will only be bored" trick. And for awhile this one works, until you call his bluff and con or guilt him into buying you clubs with cute hats on them, matching bag, pink balls and cute shoes with the spikey thingies on them.
The second one is "I am not really going golfing I am just going out to "hit some balls." You don't want to go, it is hot and not much variety. They call it the driving range. Just a bunch of dudes tightening up their swing. Nah you wouldn't enjoy that." That works until you say, "I will just go with you and check it out, see if it is something I might like. My swing needs improvement too. Gotta start somewhere."
Then there is, "Oh no, none of the other wives are going, and you will mess up the foursome. Why don't you call Paul's wife, see what she is doing. Y'all might want to go get your hair done." That is until you say, "What's WRONG WITH MY HAIR?" Needless to say he just messed up his foursome. He ain't going nowhere.
Then he tries the, "I am just going to play NINE holes with the fellas. We need to talk business. I shouldn't be long. I will take you to get something to eat when I get back." Like something to eat is going to make up for what will surely be 19 holes, I meant 18 holes and plenty of replay discussion at the clubhouse afterwards.
Then comes the player's play right out of the old school player's playbook. "Hey I am just going to run a few errands. Shouldn't be long. Why don't you and I go hit some balls when I get back."
I fall for that one every season.
What he doesn't know. I have been taking private lessons along with Paul's wife, while they thought we were getting our hair done. And while they were playing "nine" holes.
And we are saddling up. Oh and we will need a new golf bag to match our new clubs this season. We outgrew the other ones.
Whose Tee is it? And I ain't walking. And since we are out here, I brought a list of things we should talk about. Call it business.