I will never feel sorry for myself. By any measurement I have lived a much cherished life, particularly during what is likely to be the second half of my life. I did not grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth. I well know what it means to wear second hand clothes, to eat from black and white label cans, and to dine and be happy with sugar and butter sandwiches a couple times a day. I lived knowing what time of the month it was at any given time. My month was spent with about 5 really happy, 'eat what you see' days because the food stamps had come. There were other times we received food donations from close friends at momma's work. One time we got a humongous trash bag full of branded single-serve cereals of all varieties. We were in heaven for real, Frosted Flakes, Cheerios, Fruit Loops. We ate cereal even when we weren't hungry just to be treated to the abundance. That is until on about day 3 of over-indulging, Ginger our Irish Setter, peed on the open bag stopping our tummy party in its tracks. I was so mad at that dang dog, even refused to pet her for a full week. I can't eat Sugar Pops to this day.
Growing up without much taught me much about being humble. It also showed me the importance of not judging others by their outsides. I had so little to show for my lot in life, rarely able to be the "show off" in my peer group. If I was going to stand out I would have to bring out some special qualities from the inside. And so that would be my plan, I would become unforgettable inside then out.
Though I started out from a rough patch under a forgotten tree somewhere in Salt Lake City, Utah, I emerged as this wonderful person that even I liked. I love myself by loving others with all my might. I show love of self by trying to understand the plight of others, to relate to their sorrows, and then doing what it takes to be of service to them. This means being available to them in mind and physicality. This does not necessarily mean taking care of them or becoming a care-taker. It does mean taking care, showing care and being there in a way that feels appropriate within my spirit. I know so many people who do nice things for others with a soul full of resentment. I understand that feeling. It happens when we are talked into things, when we think versus feel we should do something or when we simply want to be able to say look at what I did.
Going without sucks. Doing without sucks. Being without sucks. What sucks most of all however is having everything you truly need yet believing you don't. Things turned around for me when I stood up in that rough patch looked around me from that forgotten tree and said "Thank you Jesus." Thank you Jesus for giving me a starting point. A place from which I can grow, such humble beginnings under the shade of this forgotten tree. Allow me to bloom with your words in my heart. Let us together show others beyond this patch what a mighty work you will do in me for your glory alone. Use me and my rough patch to draw others to your tree of life. Allow me to climb and let others see your mighty work and promises kept in their lives.
Growing up without much taught me much about being humble. It also showed me the importance of not judging others by their outsides. I had so little to show for my lot in life, rarely able to be the "show off" in my peer group. If I was going to stand out I would have to bring out some special qualities from the inside. And so that would be my plan, I would become unforgettable inside then out.
Though I started out from a rough patch under a forgotten tree somewhere in Salt Lake City, Utah, I emerged as this wonderful person that even I liked. I love myself by loving others with all my might. I show love of self by trying to understand the plight of others, to relate to their sorrows, and then doing what it takes to be of service to them. This means being available to them in mind and physicality. This does not necessarily mean taking care of them or becoming a care-taker. It does mean taking care, showing care and being there in a way that feels appropriate within my spirit. I know so many people who do nice things for others with a soul full of resentment. I understand that feeling. It happens when we are talked into things, when we think versus feel we should do something or when we simply want to be able to say look at what I did.
Going without sucks. Doing without sucks. Being without sucks. What sucks most of all however is having everything you truly need yet believing you don't. Things turned around for me when I stood up in that rough patch looked around me from that forgotten tree and said "Thank you Jesus." Thank you Jesus for giving me a starting point. A place from which I can grow, such humble beginnings under the shade of this forgotten tree. Allow me to bloom with your words in my heart. Let us together show others beyond this patch what a mighty work you will do in me for your glory alone. Use me and my rough patch to draw others to your tree of life. Allow me to climb and let others see your mighty work and promises kept in their lives.
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