“Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than
the trees and the stars. In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your
soul.” ~Max Ehrmann
What follows are some tips from fellow blogger Jerry Stocking for taking care of you FIRST without regret. Thank you Jerry.
1st Key: Embrace Perfection
Your life requires no improvement. In fact, the most ecological way to
embrace change is to experience this moment as perfect just the way it is.
You just stubbed your toe perfectly. Your boss just yelled at you
beautifully. Embrace, love, and flow with the perfection your life continually
Celebrate everything that is. You are surrounded by the perfect
2nd: Seek Your Own Approval
Good deeds can be their own reward. Help the frail widow across the street
and remember that you aren’t doing it for her. You’re doing it for you.
You have your own values. Trying to impress others or seeking their approval
instead of your own can cause you to neglect yourself.
Take care of yourself and do what’s important to you. You will naturally take
care of others this way. Be a model for a happy, well-balanced life.
Do the most wonderful, charitable things in the world. Do them for yourself.
Do them because they make you happy.
This can be particularly challenging if you have kids, a spouse, friends, or
Fix your husband tea. Help with the kids’ homework but do it for capital “M”
Me. Hold the baby on your knee for the sheer pleasure of it.
When you do everything for you, you are really taking care of everyone.
Years ago I volunteered at Bay Cliff Health Camp, a beautiful camp for
handicapped kids. I met Randy, who was nine years old. He was using crutches and
fell over, hitting the floor hard. As I bent to help him up, my friend Jo
grabbed my elbow stopping me.
With great effort and pride Randy was able to right himself and stand again.
Jo later explained to me that Randy’s disease was debilitating, and that he was
cherishing his last days without a wheel chair. It didn’t matter that he fell
over because he had been standing. Tears came easily as I felt grateful for
every step I take. I still do.
Impress yourself. You are your own toughest audience. You have the lead role
in your life. Play it up!
3rd Key: Question Obligations
There is nothing that you need to do and nothing you “should” do.
However, there are plenty of things you act as if you “should” do.
Being forced, even by yourself to do anything turns what might be fun into a
When I was little I loved to play the piano. I would spend at least an hour a
day just goofing around on the piano, learning how notes fit together and
creating simple tunes.
My well-meaning musician parents were inspired—so much so they brought in a
piano teacher, Mrs. Sylvester who thought I “should” work at the piano cured me
of wanting to play it. You won’t be hearing me or Mrs. Sylvester playing at
Later I took up the drums. When I was ready I asked my parents if I could
take lessons. We found a teacher and I practiced almost constantly. Having a
wonderful time, to this day I can hand drum with the best of them.
Relax. Take a breath. Notice what you are doing. Ask yourself if the pressure
is justified. You’ll quickly find that many of the sources of pressure in your
life are not as real as they seem.
Do what you do. Don’t do what you don’t do. But always celebrate what you do
no matter what it is.
Test your presence by doing stuff. Zen it just for the fun of it.
Driving on empty? Try these 3 suggestions and continue moving mountains. The world needs more of you but only after you have taken care of you!