It is easy to go around conducting life with blinders on. It is easy because when things change it sometimes feels easier to say, I did not see that coming. But it is much different when the stakes are high. When wearing blinders affects your livelihood. My husband used to tell me this about others, especially in Corporate America. Forget about what they are telling you, listen to what they are not telling you.
I like to tell people if you are not certain how you are performing in any environment, whether work or home, look no further than the atmosphere. Look for shifts in the atmosphere. The atmosphere cannot lie. Mistakenly, too many people listen only to what others are telling them.
People who are valued are treated that way. Conversations don't happen about them, conversations happen amongst them. People who value other people are the best people of all. If you ever wonder how much others value you get a sense of how and how much you are being talked about when you are not around.
I find many people think they are valued because they are still around. I hate to be the spoiler, but this is absolutely not the truth of truths. If you are not a threat, if it costs more to get rid of you versus have you stay or if you are not a liability to keep, usually this buys you time. Notice, I did not say it buys you security, just time. The trick is to learn when you have slipped into borrowed time. The best indication are shifts in the atmosphere.
Atmosphere shifts can look a little like this. No one is asking a lot of you. You are not invited into things from the beginning. You are not being asked for your opinion. What you are doing has become routine. And a really big one, you are communicating with others in a closed loop, silo or laterally. Your exposure to key decision makers and players has been contained. What the atmosphere is telling you most likely is your contribution is predictable and advancement potential limited.
There are ways to test the theory of the shift in the atmosphere. I will give you one. If you want to know where you stand and if the other party is willing to put it in writing... then ask for a mid-year review or assessment. If the first response you get is, go away and write down how you think everything is going and bring it back, then the atmosphere has indeed shifted and you are way behind the eight ball in listening to what you should have heard a long time ago. People who are valued don't usually get sent away. They get invited in.
This applies to all relationships and all atmospheres.
I like to tell people if you are not certain how you are performing in any environment, whether work or home, look no further than the atmosphere. Look for shifts in the atmosphere. The atmosphere cannot lie. Mistakenly, too many people listen only to what others are telling them.
People who are valued are treated that way. Conversations don't happen about them, conversations happen amongst them. People who value other people are the best people of all. If you ever wonder how much others value you get a sense of how and how much you are being talked about when you are not around.
I find many people think they are valued because they are still around. I hate to be the spoiler, but this is absolutely not the truth of truths. If you are not a threat, if it costs more to get rid of you versus have you stay or if you are not a liability to keep, usually this buys you time. Notice, I did not say it buys you security, just time. The trick is to learn when you have slipped into borrowed time. The best indication are shifts in the atmosphere.
Atmosphere shifts can look a little like this. No one is asking a lot of you. You are not invited into things from the beginning. You are not being asked for your opinion. What you are doing has become routine. And a really big one, you are communicating with others in a closed loop, silo or laterally. Your exposure to key decision makers and players has been contained. What the atmosphere is telling you most likely is your contribution is predictable and advancement potential limited.
There are ways to test the theory of the shift in the atmosphere. I will give you one. If you want to know where you stand and if the other party is willing to put it in writing... then ask for a mid-year review or assessment. If the first response you get is, go away and write down how you think everything is going and bring it back, then the atmosphere has indeed shifted and you are way behind the eight ball in listening to what you should have heard a long time ago. People who are valued don't usually get sent away. They get invited in.
This applies to all relationships and all atmospheres.
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