She did not want to die as much as she had stopped living. She could not remember the last time she felt anything resembling happy. Lonely comes in one color, dark. She knew nothing about the proper protocol of walking the mall but she pretended. Pretending she knew how to do. Is everything okay others asked?, "Yes life is great. All is fantastic. Things couldn't be better. Wonderful and you?" was her reply. Pretending was her mainstay. What would the truth go down better? Did they really want to know anyway? Okay try this my truth on for size.
"I have exactly 22 contacts in my phone book. In the last 12 months I have interacted with six of them if you count the carpet layer, who by the way I slept with after offering him Coronas all afternoon for coming on a Saturday and deeply discounting the cost to lay carpet in four rooms. He threw in the padding for free. Before this non-climatic afternoon of lust, I had not had anything resembling intimacy for nearly 4 and 1/2 years. I am scared. I am extremely lonely. I am afraid of being alone the rest of my life. Any other questions? And how are you and your family? Is little Bobbie finally potty trained?"
She pretended to walk the mall three times and was by far, in her estimate, among its youngest strollers. Beginning her fourth lap she passed for what was about to become the fourth time, a very old man walking with intent. As she approached him to pass he stopped. At first she thought something must be wrong. For reasons unknown she stopped too, more out of curiosity than anything else. She did not know CPR or anything of the like. He did not seem in distress. "Hurry up she thought, I have this last lap to do, what is wrong old man?" And he looked up at her, and she could swear he either had something fall into his eye or he had winked at her. No really, she could have sworn he snuck a wink her way. He had done nothing of the sort of course.
The old man slowed down and abruptly stopped. He sat down. Putting his hand to his chest as he brought out a small book. It looked like a daily devotion book. Seemingly oblivious to his surroundings, he opened the tiny book and began to read out loud to himself, the book mere inches from his face. So aside from the obvious tremors in both of his hands, he was nearly blind too. He had not winked at her at all she realized, he could barely see what's in front of him. It was sad to watch him tremor so profusely, so she acted. She approached him gingerly and heard herself ask, "What are you reading?" At first he did not hear her, so she asked again, this time saying, "Reading daily devotion is one the great highlights of my day, may I read along with you?" She was completely lying; perhaps pretending was a better word. She did not wait for his response, she took the book from his trembling hands and began to read aloud. Soon the mall would be open and she still had to get in that final lap.
She read, The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. –Psalm 34:18
1 Peter 5:6-7 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
Psalm 42:5-11
5 Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him
For the help of His presence.
6 O my God, my soul is in despair within me;
Therefore I remember You from the land of the Jordan
And the peaks of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.
7 Deep calls to deep at the sound of Your waterfalls;
All Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me.
8 The Lord will command His loving kindness in the daytime;
And His song will be with me in the night,
A prayer to the God of my life.
9 I will say to God my rock, “Why have You forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?”
10 As a shattering of my bones, my adversaries revile me,
While they say to me all day long, “Where is your God?”
11 Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.
She began to sob and her hands began to tremor as she read. Crying so, she dared not look up from the book. When she finally did, she saw that he had gone.
The lights of the mall turned brighter, the start of a new day. She closed the book and walked directly toward the mall's exit.
La Detra
"I have exactly 22 contacts in my phone book. In the last 12 months I have interacted with six of them if you count the carpet layer, who by the way I slept with after offering him Coronas all afternoon for coming on a Saturday and deeply discounting the cost to lay carpet in four rooms. He threw in the padding for free. Before this non-climatic afternoon of lust, I had not had anything resembling intimacy for nearly 4 and 1/2 years. I am scared. I am extremely lonely. I am afraid of being alone the rest of my life. Any other questions? And how are you and your family? Is little Bobbie finally potty trained?"
She pretended to walk the mall three times and was by far, in her estimate, among its youngest strollers. Beginning her fourth lap she passed for what was about to become the fourth time, a very old man walking with intent. As she approached him to pass he stopped. At first she thought something must be wrong. For reasons unknown she stopped too, more out of curiosity than anything else. She did not know CPR or anything of the like. He did not seem in distress. "Hurry up she thought, I have this last lap to do, what is wrong old man?" And he looked up at her, and she could swear he either had something fall into his eye or he had winked at her. No really, she could have sworn he snuck a wink her way. He had done nothing of the sort of course.
The old man slowed down and abruptly stopped. He sat down. Putting his hand to his chest as he brought out a small book. It looked like a daily devotion book. Seemingly oblivious to his surroundings, he opened the tiny book and began to read out loud to himself, the book mere inches from his face. So aside from the obvious tremors in both of his hands, he was nearly blind too. He had not winked at her at all she realized, he could barely see what's in front of him. It was sad to watch him tremor so profusely, so she acted. She approached him gingerly and heard herself ask, "What are you reading?" At first he did not hear her, so she asked again, this time saying, "Reading daily devotion is one the great highlights of my day, may I read along with you?" She was completely lying; perhaps pretending was a better word. She did not wait for his response, she took the book from his trembling hands and began to read aloud. Soon the mall would be open and she still had to get in that final lap.
She read, The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. –Psalm 34:18
1 Peter 5:6-7 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
Psalm 42:5-11
5 Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him
For the help of His presence.
6 O my God, my soul is in despair within me;
Therefore I remember You from the land of the Jordan
And the peaks of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.
7 Deep calls to deep at the sound of Your waterfalls;
All Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me.
8 The Lord will command His loving kindness in the daytime;
And His song will be with me in the night,
A prayer to the God of my life.
9 I will say to God my rock, “Why have You forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?”
10 As a shattering of my bones, my adversaries revile me,
While they say to me all day long, “Where is your God?”
11 Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.
She began to sob and her hands began to tremor as she read. Crying so, she dared not look up from the book. When she finally did, she saw that he had gone.
The lights of the mall turned brighter, the start of a new day. She closed the book and walked directly toward the mall's exit.
La Detra
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