I have a female friend who swears a lot! She tends to fill up empty spaces with swear words. I always wondered why? I think I know now. She can find no reason to fill it with anything meaningful. Being provocative gets much needed attention. Being loud leaves little room for having to be real and transparent. Being able to control situations through "shock and aah" doesn't invite space for, "are you ok? Would you like to talk?" I know someone just like this and so do you.
I have a family member who does a lot of talking especially at family events. Thing is when you break it down into what is really being said, not much transfer of words. No real insight. Talking takes up space. Talk passes time. Talk gets you away from what is really happening. It creates a bridge into never land. The land where you don't have to talk about what is really bothering you. Those things that should have been talked about long ago. And because no one ever calls you on it, this non-talk goes on disguised as real talk. The only one believing that it is real talk is the one doing all the talking.
A bit ago, I decided to commit myself to being that friendly face in dark spaces. That non judgmental face that leaves bread crumbs of approachability. I want to be that face that quiets that need for cursing and softens that drive toward empty talk. I can do that. I can do that because I have been at one time or another that "one" who shocks and that one who talks for fear of being discovered for my dark spaces.
We all know someone. Dark spaces need friendly faces. Here's to building a tribe leaving more bread crumbs.
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