
I had been trying to have a baby for years. After many surgeries and several artificial inseminations I still had not conceived.
One day, my prayer warrior friend Gayle came to me and said, God is working something out in you. He is preparing you for your blessing. First you have some work to do inside. Some real work to do in your marriage and in yourself. He wants to be sure you are ready. Are you ready?
I was stunned. After listening to my friend I came to the realization that my way was not working. Maybe there was something more that I needed to do. Four of us started praying again. We began praying for our husbands each morning on a conference call for over a year. Our focus was on our husbands' health, spiritual growth, strength, compassion, wisdom and anything else we wanted concerning him as the head of our household. I was slowly transformed. I was preparing my heart and my house for God's intended purpose.
In 1998 my mental state was at a new low. I was so sad about not being able to get pregnant after three years of trying. Every month we would try to conceive then buy 2-3, sometimes 4 pregnancy tests at a time all showing no positive sign. I bought so many pregnancy kits I started moving around town to different pharmacies just to avoid the stares I felt when I was back again. I was fixated on one thing, having a baby. My nerves were on end. After one particularly extended argument with my husband (I blamed all the hormones I was on), I asked him if we can just get away for a few days to be in a new environment. He agreed. We went for a weekend visit to Washington DC. Just the two of us.
About this time the fertility doctor also decided to give my body a break. There would be no more treatments for a long while. We also agreed on only one more surgery but no more. The surgery was scheduled for mid September 1998.
One night, like every night, I said a prayer to God. I reminded him of my promise to him. Crushed in soul, Hannah prayed to God and cried and cried—inconsolably. Then she made a vow: 1SAM 9-11
Oh, God-of-the-Angel-Armies,
If you’ll take a good, hard look at my pain,
If you’ll quit neglecting me and go into action for me
By giving me a son,
I’ll give him completely, unreservedly to you.
I’ll set him apart for a life of holy discipline.
20 Before the year was out, Hannah had conceived and given birth to a son. She named him Samuel, explaining, “I asked God for him.”
My promise was like Hannah's. If God were to give me a child, I would name him Samuel or if a girl Hannah as a testimony to God's promises kept. I promised to share my testimony of HIS goodness always. I promised to raise the child to know him as God.
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My promise to God. PART THREE to follow in next post.