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You must climb that mountain on your belly

4/24/2014

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I planned our annual family vacation to Peru in 2012. This included a visit to none other than Machu Picchu. Our only family credo in deciding where to go on vacation is we will go most anywhere but ... "we don't repeat." Okay perhaps this is more my credo but what the heck. I plan all family vacations.

Peru exceeded our expectations. It over delivered on aah and wow! We took in the culture and wonder of this magnificent country. Our next to last stop on this trip was Machu Picchu. We saved the magnificence of this place for the end simply because at an elevation of 8,000 feet above sea level, we had to acclimate to its altitude.

One of the excursions I signed up for and paid for in advance through our travel advisor was climbing up the steepest side of Machu Picchu and then climbing down again. Sounded simple enough. Go up and come down! What we learned moments before fully committing to this excursion was this. In certain places on the trail, you have a margin of error of less than a foot between the surface you were climbing and the free fall below. No harness, no special safety equipment. Just your agility and self determination to make it up and down in one piece.

Literally, you misstep....you lose. They advised us not to look to the right going up or to the left going down. Stare straight ahead was the caution.

The advise we were given was go up and down on your belly crawling inch by inch to avoid falling off the mountain ledge. The Peruvians said this as casually as "the best rice cakes in town can be found on the corner of X and Y." It rains daily in Peru, your crawl is in the mud.

I looked around at my family and instantly knew money spent or not, no one in my clan was stepping one foot or belly on the side of that mountain. This climbing idea stopped being our great adventure at the words "less than one foot."  The Incas have been climbing the mountain sides of Machu Picchu since the 1400s. When the locals tell me perhaps don't take the children up there, I believe them the first time.

I learned something that day. My inner voice said no before I could say no. I trusted this voice. It came from inside of me and I could not ignore it. Even if I over ruled it, I had to acknowledge it existed in me. This is the same voice Oprah taught us all to listen to. She promised the voice is never wrong. That voice to me is our HOLY SPIRIT.

So, I put a halt to any further thinking of scaling that mountain. My husband looked relieved. My kids at first asked why, but that was expected. To this day I believe that I made the right decision for me and mine. And if I did not, well I left it for Machu Picchu to decide.


Psalm 121:1-2 ESV   I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.

Trust. Believe. Listen.

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Go where you are celebrated not tolerated

11/22/2013

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No doubt, everyone knows when they are living in an unwelcome moment. In actuality, the cold shoulder projects universal feelings. It is painful to see someone over stay their welcome in a situation. Not only is it hard to watch it is equally hard to understand. My pastor once said in a sermon, "Go where you are celebrated not tolerated." The befuddlement, is it harder to stay or is it harder to leave?

People over stay for different reasons. You think things will change. You don't have a better alternative. You are trying to avoid the pain of leaving. You blame outside forces for getting in the way. You have sunk to a place where you now believe you actually deserve the treatment you are getting. Regrettably, you simply just don't love yourself enough to walk away and never look back.

Here are few questions to ask yourself as you prepare to move into spaces where you are celebrated not just tolerated.
  1. Is this the way I want to live the rest of my life?
  2. Am I constantly giving more in the relationship than I am getting?
  3. Am I often resetting what I will tolerate from this relationship?
  4. Do I believe in my heart there is greater joy on the other side clear of "this?"

If you answered yes to two or more questions above you might have taken your first step toward being celebrated.

God grant me the strength to act on the things I can change; 
celebration after the things I've changed; and the wisdom to make a difference.

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Keep it Simple.

11/10/2013

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When I turned forty I invited 21 of my closest friends to a private retreat in Arizona. I rented villas for us all, no TV, no phones. For four days we had only one another. I brought Carla Hall in to be our private chef for four days in the desert. We were there to celebrate my birthday and one another. I had childhood friends, my sister, sister in law, cousins, best friend, college friends, maid of honor, my wedding planner, neighbors all with me. It was magical, spiritual, happy, introspective, raw, honest, beautiful, and real all rolled into one. We had a beautiful time as kindred sisters, sharing, caring, laughing, crying. Carla Hall made all my favorite dishes, all her food selections flown in fresh, chosen by her hands. A real highlight of the trip included a candlelit dinner celebration with young top hat supporting chefs surrounding her in the kitchen.

One evening before we left my sister in law asked me to go for a walk in the morning, just the two of us. We tried, though by morning others decided walking was not a bad idea for them too. Along our walk I noticed my sister in law Paula pick up a rock. It was a dark smooth rock. I thought nothing more about it.

When I returned home I unpacked all my lovely gifts, some included Swarovski crystal, Tiffany necklace, African sculptures, Hand crafted scrapbooks, donations to charity made in my honor, the list goes on. I was grateful for everyone of these thoughtful treasures. Nearly a decade later, I am still grateful.

I did notice back in Arizona that Paula had not given me a gift. It did not matter she was there with me. She did not have to be but she was.

When I finally finished unpacking over several lazy days I found something tucked away in my luggage. It had been placed there. Next to it a note.

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The note described Paula's feelings toward me. She talked about how thankful she was that we are family and sisters. What I will never forget is what came next.
La Detra you live a blessed life. You have a lot to give and you give it freely. No matter what you have accomplished you have always kept it simple. I encourage you always to "KEEP IT SIMPLE". Love always, Paula.

I am about to turn 50 next year. For the past decade I have framed my gift from Paula. It is on display in my home. Whenever anyone asks me about it, I tell them it is the best gift I have ever received. It simply reminds me to, "Keep it simple."

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Chop wood and carry water

10/24/2013

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There is a statement I read recently  in "O" Magazine about what is needed during the period of time one is trying to build their success in life. During that period when you will do anything to make "that thing" work. That thing can be starting a new business, becoming a new husband or wife, building your career. That thing can be whatever you need it to be. One thing that is not disputed is in order to do that thing to its awesome best requires its originator to own chopping the wood and carrying the water. There is no substitute for the love, passion, hard work, dedication, sacrifice and sweat that goes into "that thing."

Later in life when a certain level of achievement and success with that thing has been realized what then? This is the period where things are moving along. No big cracks in the foundation. A bit of cushion is all around providing a sense of ease and comfort. It is easy to be complacent, to let up some, to yield to the slack that you may have let creep into "the thing."

So I am here to offer my POV on "the thing." No matter what your thing is, it is yours. It belongs to you. You birthed it. It is yours to do what you want. So if you want to keep it, may I suggest you own at every life stage chopping the wood and carrying the water.  If you don't, someone or something will step in and chop your wood and carry your water. That which belongs to you.

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Sunday Travel Tips- Save real money

9/22/2013

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Whether you travel a lot of just occasionally there are some helpful travel tips that can both save you money and perhaps earn you some real value for later excursions like vacation. For example, when booking your travel, two weeks or more in advance of course, use a credit card, join the airlines frequency program and book online versus calling the airline.
  1. USING a credit card that is associated with an airline e.g. AMEX/DELTA you earn miles that add up pretty quickly. Not only do you earn miles when you travel, but you earn miles when you use the card on ongoing transactions like groceries and gas. CAUTION: Pay your credit card off every month or you will nullify the benefits you are achieving using the card to SAVE MONEY by paying the interest and fees the credit card charges.
  2. JOINING  the airlines frequency program allows you to start earning miles right away. No harm in joining multiple carrier's programs.
  3. BOOKING online almost always yields a less expensive ticket. Be careful though, you will have to own any mistakes that are made. Look at the airport codes carefully. I once wanted to go to San Francisco and ended up booking online a ticket going to San Diego. I had to re ticket at my expense! Yikes.
One last tip. When you do earn that ticket, don't redeem on short excursions. Atlanta to Raleigh. Get the biggest bang for your efforts. Go somewhere that really makes the miles work harder for you e.g. bicoastal perhaps.

In any case, happy travels. See you at some airport perhaps!!


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Sunday Travel Tips

9/15/2013

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Planning a trip internationally? Well I am almost always planning for, recovering from or in the midst of enjoying a trip abroad. From an early age I have enjoyed seeing what is just around the bend in life. So whether you are in the dreaming stage of travel or the "by hook or crook I am going somewhere this year" stage of planning here are a few planning tips to bear in mind. Plan early, six to 12 months out for international travel. Maximize the places you see while abroad. It is cheaper in the long run to jump on a plane to Spain when you are already in Portugal versus returning home and returning to Spain. Take advantage of your proximity while in those countries.  Use a travel agency that specializes in the country(ies) you want to visit to help plan your itinerary. Don't be afraid to explore on your own versus spending lots of money on organized tours. They often have tremendous markups. Get around by train or boat once you arrive. It is often a beautiful way to see the inner intricacies of foreign countries. Consider having a private guide. Yes, more expensive but you learn so much more and they usually have very flexible schedules and customize your time around your specific taste.

Make sure the travel agent knows what you like and don't like. Talk about this upfront. No need for her to book you on a night club crawl when you hate the night life. Be selfish with your money. Read up on tipping and the tipping culture. Some countries don't really have a custom of tipping so anything you give is a surprise and delight.
 
Cover up your US passport. Put it inside a discreet outer cover. Believe it or not, there are a lot of places around the world who simply don't care much for Americans. Best to be safe than sorry.  

Be sure you understand the macro politics of the country you will be visiting. If in doubt don't share your ideas a lot if at all. For instance, a casual disparaging remark about the government of Thailand or Cuba can get you put in prison for years. This is a true statement so don't test it.

Finally, keep a journal, especially if you don't expect to return to that country again. You will be amazed at how quickly you will forget the small things that made the country so special.

Now keep dreaming or get going. In either case ENJOY!!!!

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Cuba
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Kenya
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I've got an evil eye

8/16/2013

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While in Turkey and Greece this summer one thing I could not miss seeing were these pretty blue beads with an eye on them. You see these adoring "eyes" everywhere including hanging from people, ceilings, door knobs and  even trees. Read on to see why. I got mine (necklace in this picture) and bought my friends evil eye jewelry as keepsakes. Now that I have learned more of what the symbol means around the world going back literally thousands of years, I am especially glad I have mine. Well judge for yourself but I will tell you, many cultures around the world take the evil eye extremely seriously. What is the evil eye meaning? 


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    La Detra Joy

    I love being around people. I would rather live falling than break my spirit never trying anything hard. This blog is about trying and retrying life.

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