This post is PART 2. For a link to Part 1 please click HERE

I had been trying to have a baby for years. After many surgeries and several artificial inseminations I still had not conceived.

One day, my prayer warrior friend Gayle came to me and said, God is working something out in you. He is preparing you for your blessing. First you have some work to do inside. Some real work to do in your marriage and in yourself. He wants to be sure you are ready. Are you ready? 

I was stunned. After listening to my friend I came to the realization that my way was not working. Maybe there was something more that I needed to do. Four of us started praying again. We began praying for our husbands each morning on a conference call for over a year. Our focus was on our husbands' health, spiritual growth, strength, compassion, wisdom and anything else we wanted concerning him as the head of our household. I was slowly transformed. I was preparing my heart and my house for God's intended purpose.

In 1998 my mental state was at a new low. I was so sad about not being able to get pregnant after three years of trying. Every month we would try to conceive then buy 2-3, sometimes 4 pregnancy tests at a time all showing no positive sign. I bought so many pregnancy kits I started moving around town to different pharmacies just to avoid the stares I felt when I was back again. I was fixated on one thing, having a baby. My nerves were on end. After one particularly extended argument with my husband (I blamed all the hormones I was on), I asked him if we can just get away for a few days to be in a new environment. He agreed. We went for a weekend visit to Washington DC. Just the two of us.

About this time the fertility doctor also decided to give my body a break. There would be no more treatments for a long while. We also agreed on only one more surgery but no more. The surgery was scheduled for mid September 1998.


One night, like every night, I said a prayer to God. I reminded him of my promise to him. Crushed in soul, Hannah prayed to God and cried and cried—inconsolably. Then she made a vow: 1SAM 9-11

Oh, God-of-the-Angel-Armies,
If you’ll take a good, hard look at my pain,
If you’ll quit neglecting me and go into action for me
By giving me a son,
I’ll give him completely, unreservedly to you.
I’ll set him apart for a life of holy discipline.


20 Before the year was out, Hannah had conceived and given birth to a son. She named him Samuel, explaining, “I asked God for him.”


My promise was like Hannah's. If God were to give me a child, I would name him Samuel or if a girl Hannah as a testimony to God's promises kept. I promised to share my testimony of HIS goodness always. I promised to raise the child to know him as God.

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My promise to God. PART THREE to follow in next post.

From as far back as I can remember  I wanted to grow up, marry a prince, have children and live happily ever after. I guess I am no different than most little girls.

I am someone who is used to getting those things I plan for and work for. I have a Ivy League education, wonderful job, loving husband, fantastic travel adventures from around the world. I have dedicated friends, supportive church family and very close family relatives. One would think I have it all!

I am healthy, I am curious, I am always doing something new. This is my life now. This has not always been my life.

For many years into my marriage I was infertile. I learned that I may not be able to have children when I thirty-two years old. After visiting many doctors I landed with an infertility specialist. We decided to try artificial insemination and we did try, six times. During this period of my life I became very depressed. I watched my only sister have children. I went to dozens of baby showers for friends and family. I had a prayer group, all moms, who prayed for my conception with me every morning for years.

I bought African fertility dolls, rubbed hormonal creams on my skin, ingested natural progesterone. I tracked my ovulation cycle. At times, I turned love making into a chore, a job, a goal, a calendar event. Even if we weren't speaking, I made sure we took care of our business when I was ovulating.

I was completely at a low of lows in my life. I had so much to give to a child. I wanted a baby!. I wanted my turn at being "my mother". And so for years we struggled. Financially we sacrificed to pay all the doctor bills. Nothing was covered by insurance.

I kept a journal of my heartbreak during this time which later turned into a still unpublished manuscript of my struggles.

My husband was a saint throughout all of this. He would tell me he was okay if we did not ever have a child. He told me I was enough for him. He was happy and everything would be fine. He loves me unconditionally and he showed it.

One day walking to the car from yet another friend's baby shower, I broke down in tears. As my husband opened my car door he turned my face to his and asked, "Aren't I enough?" I lied and whispered, "Yes."

One of my prayer warrior friends said to me one day, God is working something out in you. He is preparing you for your blessing. First you have some work to do. Some real work to do in your marriage and in yourself. He wants to be sure you are ready. Are you ready?

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My promise to God. PART TWO to follow in next post.

Stop belly aching! Where has complaining ever got you anyhow? It draws a crowd the first hundred times perhaps. But after a point, to put it bluntly, it gets old. Even if no one around you is willing to say it "to" you, they are saying it "about" you. What they are saying is this, the problem isn't your problems, the problem is likely "you." Ask yourself, am I on the victim side of this issue or am I the fixer? If you are the victim... time and time and time again the problem is an inside job not an outside job. Follow the trail of crocodile tears and you will find the real problem. Pull back the curtain on your life and you may realize you are allowing yourself to be the underdog, the victim, the damsel in distress over and over and over and over again. There is a saying, people will only treat you the way you allow them to treat you. CHANGE YOUR TUNE CHANGE YOUR LIFE!  

Treat people how to treat you. Teach them how to talk to you. Demonstrate to them how to engage with you. Layout your list of non-negotiables.  Articulate your value system.  Draw the line at X . Disconnect from Y. Disassociate from Z.

Don't apologize for wanting to surround yourself with people like you. You get one life. Don't spend your time apologizing for other people's behavior toward you. Give them a chance, but give them ONE CHANCE. When people show you who they are believe them the first time.

Change your tune, change your life. And this may mean taking up a new broom to sweep away old garbage. Change your tune, change your life!

There is better waiting for you on the other side of the victim side to you. Don't waist another minute in woe is me. Turn the channel in your life. Embrace the victor in you. You wear it well.

From the time I prayed you into my existence I have loved you, even before there was a you. I prayed over you long before the birth of you. I am so proud to be called your mother. No future gift will come closer to my heart than being your mom.

My child, I have not been perfect as your mother, but I have been the best mom I can be. I hope that I have been especially effective when it  has really counted. My heart stood as a shield of protection those nights you slept alone in your crib. I stayed on my knees when you were away from home, drove your first car, had that first big interview, took that first Cupid's arrow to the heart. I was there in the shadows praying, cheering, conducting, scolding, whatever it took to get you through it.

I simply love being your mom. I live each day to be your mom. Never a day off. Never a single regret.

I have watched you grow into such a beautiful being. Such an astounding contributor to the world around you. Seeing your growth into "you" is the greatest gift you can ever give back to me. It has been a complete privilege to call myself your mom and even a greater honor to hear you call me mommy. I will always be with you no matter what.

Thank you for being such a gift to me. Thank you for allowing me to be flawed. I will never be the perfect mom, but I promise to be perfect in my pursuit at being the best mom I can be.

I love you more than the most beautiful rainbow. I love you more than yesterday. Loving you tenderly, mom

When he first asked for my hand I thought I would melt. Amongst all the other beautiful, angelic, smart, graceful women of the universe, he chose me to be his dance partner. He had walked over to me. I knew from the moment he took my hand in his it was going to be a magical dance. It was just the way his hand felt in mine. His touch gentle but firm, his grasp warm and protective. With my hand in his hand we began our dance. And as the world stood still, he drew me in real close and we danced. I could feel his energy. It excited me. His scent tantalized me. His strength mesmerized me. I was in a perfect space swallowed up in glee, spellbound by moments he created when he reached for my hand.

The first few moves were awkward. I tried to follow his lead. I tried really hard to surrender to his steps giving in to wherever his strides led us across that floor. Just when it seemed we were getting somewhere, finding our rhythm, something always happened to throw us out of rhythm and temporarily disrupt our flow. It seemed at these times we weren't gliding, we were stumbling. I tried to slow down, wait for him to gain his composure and start our dance again. I kept whispering to him, softly, gently, "I am sorry, go ahead, you take the lead." And we would try again.

And for awhile we moved beautifully. When our dance felt as though it could not get any better, I would usually try something new, thinking, believing I could make it even better. Without fail, I would end up walking on his feet and inevitably we stumbled.

I told him I was just trying to be helpful. Just trying to sweeten the melody of our sway. He kept silent never saying a word. And we danced. The longer we moved, the more I tried to lead, the slower we became. Where once we had glided synchronized in our oneness, now there was a widening gap between us. It was much harder to hold on to one another. But we danced and slowly we both became silent.

It was harder now to feel. Our dance had become one of mechanical execution. Small gestures imitating the act of dance. He had become totally withdrawn and though I could still see his hand in mine I could not feel it. I was still dressed like a dancer on the outside, but I felt alone without my partner on the inside. We both danced in small robotic movements to music we could no longer hear.

So one day, I took off my shoes and placed them neatly in a corner of our dance floor. I walked over to him and gently took him by the hand. Neither of us spoke. As he rose, I looked up at him, placed one hand in his and tenderly placed his other hand on the small of my back. I drew my body close to his careful to close the gap between us.

Slowly, I laid my head upon his shoulder and I wept. And then I waited..........and I waited........and after a time we began to dance in silence. As he took control, our bodies spoke and our hands began to sweat. And by-God we danced.

Couples will go a long time with things in limbo. They will give themselves a thousand reasons why they should not make a move to the left or right.

Things like: I don't want to upset the holidays, we have children, I can't afford to move on, maybe it's me and things will change, I can change him/her. I don't want to be alone, I am too old to find someone else. What will our parents think? How will we be able to both keep our friends? I have been in it this long. What if I don't find someone else? Maybe this is as good as it gets. Things aren't that bad. Well I have lived with him/her this long. How will we split up our assets? What about when we run into each other? Can we co-parent civically? What will this do to the children? I never wanted to be an "ex" anything. How will this make me look?

And then those equally paralyzing reasons couples will give for not making up. I am always the first to say I'm sorry. Why should I make the first move? We are always making up and nothing really changes. It is easier to stay silent. He/she never follows through on his/her promises. This relationship is exhausting. I don't have the energy to go through this again. I can't fix this and be a good mom/dad. I would rather invest my time in people and things that give a greater return. Make up for what, what do we really have left?

It is time to wake up! Nobody wants to see relationships break up but it is even harder on everyone to watch them never make up. Wake up! The longer the relationship is paralyzed the harder it will be to revive. Ask yourself, are you pondering more break up questions or make up questions in your spirit?

My advise, don't do what you think you are supposed to do. Do what you really need this once to have the life you want. Wake up! Do something. Stop living each day pondering the what ifs or pretending tomorrow things will be better.

Examine your relationship over the past 72 hours. Is that the type of relationship you want? Did you and your partner talk, better yet have real conversations? Was there any intimacy? That is not to ask did you make love, but did you show affection toward one another in any way? What kind of emotional attention did you show toward one another? That might include him opening your door or you fixing his plate at dinner. How about with words and glares, did you connect? Did you go to bed each night feeling as though you have a life partner or do you feel more like a caregiver? Are you friends, best friends? Can you be yourself and achieve your personal best with this person? Is this person solidly in your corner? Can you feel that?


No matter how you answered these questions you know what you have to do. You don't need me or anyone else to tell you that if things are not how they should be for you to be happy, then something different needs doing. One huge step and a very good first step, ask for what you want from the relationship. More relationships are changed from just the "ask" than most anything else. How he/she responds will give you a window into your next step.


Make up, break up but at least WAKE UP! 

Wounds must be kept open until they can heal. If covered up they may remain infected or can easily become reinfected especially if the original infection never fully healed or was not treated. I am not a doctor but I do know a thing or two about hurting and slow healing.

My father left home when I was in kindergarten. He went to Vietnam and the next time I saw him I was thirteen years old. My mother never remarried. That is not to say she was ever without a man in her life. My parents married young, before either of them could legally drink or vote. My mom mostly married my father to get out of her house. My dad married my mother because he had never met anyone prettier, spunkier, or more sexy. He was totally taken aback by her, as was half the town where they lived.

At age 25, my mother wrote my dad a Dear John letter when he was away in Vietnam. It broke his heart in a million pieces. For years thereafter she told us children she had no idea where he was living. I believed her.

I grew up fatherless. My mother never spoke of my father so I crafted my own stories about him and why he was not in my life. None of my stories were good and none were refuted. What I did not know then was my father was afraid to contact us. He feared most that getting back in touch with his four children would reopen the heartbreak he carried from his relationship with my mom. It had taken years to get over her.

I became close friends with my father when I was in college. I was the only of his children who fostered a close relationship with him back then. Over time, I began to trust him to be there for me in my life even though he had long since remarried. One Christmas, he either forgot to call me or just didn't call me. Though I was 28 years old, it was just like I was in kindergarten again. My wound opened up and I could feel all the infection that had never healed. I was so hurt and so angry. I felt rejected by someone I had allowed back into my life. Who I really needed to be all in.

Along with my fiancé, I went to see my father to tell him to his face that I wanted nothing more to do with him. I also told him I did not want him to walk me down the aisle. He excused himself and came back with a shoebox. In this shoebox were yellowing letters most of which had been written and not mailed to judges, my mom, and us children. Also in this shoebox were hundreds of moneyorder receipts for money he had been sending to my mom over the years as child support. Through those unsent letters I was now reading, I could tell my father had been trying his best to heal and to be forgiven.

I had a difficult time in relationships. I would sabotage them just to see if "that man" would leave me. Sometimes they did. Then one day my now husband called me on it. He says you are always testing me, testing us. I am not going anywhere and until you believe that you will never heal and we will never be okay.

Seeing those letters began my healing. They showed me my dad did care, he had always cared. In some ways he had never left, at least his heart hadn't. Those letters were just enough to allow me to peel back the covering every once in awhile and let my wound breathe. Eventually I was able to close my eyes, clench my teeth real tight and snatch away the covering giving myself a real chance at healing. What I got in return was a daddy and a friend. Today there are scars but not much memory of the pain.

I have tried to understand the actions of both my parents. As a parent myself, I realize that there are very difficult choices that are made in love, out of love, for the preservation of self-love and for the love of others.

I have chosen not to judge. Rather I choose to love with forgiveness while knowing there may be yet more pain to come. We are not immune to it.

A very big thank you to my loving dad and friend who supports me in sharing our story. We hope it helps someone else through their pain journey.

http://www.liveyourawesomelife.com/living-your-aweswome-life-one-oops-at-a-time/wounds-that-wontheal-those-letters

Relationships are so complicated. They never become uncomplicated no matter how long two people have been together. They just become less complicated in some areas and feverishly more complicated in others. I am highly suspicious whenever anyone who has been with their significant other more than a year tells me everything is "perfect".  Perfect my @## I tell myself. Who do they think they are kidding? Things weren't perfect even on my wedding day. Heck, twenty plus years later, I am still slightly ruffled that my side of the family gave more in monetary gifts than his side of the family. We argued about that one half the night, then barely speaking, consummated the blessed union.

I did not sign up for perfect and I definitely haven't thought marriage was uncomplicated since I was about seven. Anyone growing up around two married parents knows "complicated" does not even begin to describe some of the encounters kids have witnessed. I learned at an early age that men are supposed to read women's minds. I also learned that women completely drive men crazy by being passive aggressive. "Honey I am hungry." From that, husbands are supposed to know what she wants, when she wants it and from where she wants it. She may even want him to BBQ outside on the grill in 30 degree weather. He is supposed to know all that just from, "Honey I am hungry."

Men too have their complications. They will argue and procrastinate all week long on her "honey do list" then on Friday night turn the lights down low and put on Luther Vandross.

All jokes aside. Marriage relationships are complicated and they do not come with manuals. If marriages were harder to get out of they would inherently be slower to get into. Unfortunately, neither is the case. Marriage for many is like a revolving door.

So where this leaves us is here. Here is a decision. Not a on the wedding day decision but an everyday decision. Do I stay or do I go decision?

Personally, I think vows should be mandated to include the obligatory, "symptoms of this union will include pain."

"I promise to acknowledge and own my part in your pain.  And I promise to work as hard as I am able to make things better for the two of us, always."

Also nice to add would be the following:

"I promise to respect, admire, and appreciate you for who you are, as well as for the person you wish to become."

"I promise to always strive to meet your needs; not out of obligation, but because it delights me to see you happy."

"I promise to nurture your goals and ambitions; to support you through misfortune and celebrate your triumphs."

"I promise to support and protect your freedom; because although our lives are intertwined, your choices are still yours alone."

"I promise to seek a deep understanding of your wishes, your desires, your fears and your dreams."

"I promise to be there for you when you need me, whenever you need me."

"I promise to treat you with compassion over fairness, because we are a team, now and for always."

"I promise to show you, every day, that I know exactly how lucky I am to have you in my life." Source:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-joel/ten-wedding-vows-based-on_b_4762318.html

I hope I have touched upon the important stuff, but after all ...... marriage is beautifully complicated!

Women are special. Girlfriends are trophies. Wives are revered. I don't mind being a wife. I chose it. There are no special trophies big enough for being the wife to a husband she loves. And as the wife to a man I am in love with, whom I chose, I would like to be on top sometimes. You have to ask for what you want and sometimes you must be very specific in order to be completely satisfied. You can't just lay there. ASK! Here is what being on top sometimes, means to me.

I want to feel noticed. I want someone at home saying "job well done, thank you, let me get that, you complete me, rest your feet, let's just order in, you look great without makeup, is that a new dress, I would love your opinion on this, I am better because you are with me, let's take a walk, shhh! mom's taking a nap, how can I be helpful to you today, meet me in the backyard there is a full moon, I ran you a bath, I poured you a glass of wine, I bought this book with you in mind, roll over and let me massage your back, the dishes can wait, do not talk to your mother like that, don't worry I will take care of this, want a sandwich."

MMM yeh!  Yes!  Yep, oh yeh, feels great!

Being on top sometimes ain't bad. Not bad at all.

Living the good life huh? Things going well in your corner? Feeling good about you and yours? All the columns adding up emotionally, physically, financially, morally, spiritually, and in any other "lly" you desire? Well excellent and good....so very good for you! You are being blessed beyond measure. You are living in a very good space. You have been shown great favor and that my dear is a wonderful wonderful thng. So now the question we all are asking of you, "Are you giving back in at least as many ways as you are receiving?" Are you showing thanks by giving? Because if you are not then what was your blessing all about to begin with?

Luke 12:48
King James Version (KJV) 
48 But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they
will ask the more.

People who have more should do more. I don't mean give it away, I mean share it away. Whether you have a certain talent, expertise, physical resources, yes sometimes money, transportation, education, the gift of council, scripture, song, discernment, patience, tolerance, or whatever your blessings might be.....share them away in a thankful way.

God will keep refilling your tank I promise. Because when you are obedient to HIS word  and live under the mantra, "to much who is given, much is expected" then you will never be able to beat God's giving to you in return.

THE PARABLE OF THE FAITHFUL SERVANT
The Lord said, "Who then is the faithful and wise steward, whom his lord
will set over his household, to give them their portion of food at the right
times? Blessed is that servant whom his lord will find doing so when he comes.
Truly I tell you, that he will set him over all that he has. But if that servant
says in his heart, 'My lord delays his coming,' and begins to beat the
menservants and the maidservants, and to eat and drink, and to be drunken, then
the lord of that servant will come in a day when he isn't expecting him, and in
an hour that he doesn't know, and will cut him in two, and place his portion
with the unfaithful. That servant, who knew his lord's will, and didn't prepare,
nor do what he wanted, will be beaten with many stripes, but he who didn't know,
and did things worthy of stripes, will be beaten with few stripes. To whomever
much is given, of him will much be required; and to whom much was entrusted, of
him more will be asked.

My mom used to say, "If I want something done, I best do it myself." Usually when she said this she was completely exasperated by whatever situation she was consumed. "If I want something done, I best do it myself." 

There is so much truth in this statement. It can be frustrating waiting on someone else to make a decision, take some sort of action, or respond in some way or another to you. Ever been in a situation where someone else held all the cards, financially, emotionally, physically? How does that feel? Well to me it feels heavy, makes me feel dependent, restrained, hostage and weak; when I really want to feel empowered, free and abled. Interestingly, society teaches us that it is okay for instance for a woman to look to a man for her security, protection, financial stability .The bible speaks to a woman submitting to her husband. Little girls grow up looking to someday marry a man who will take care of them. I think whatever works for each individual is their business. Me forcing my point of view on you does nothing more than add to the very things I profess to despise, e.g. restrictions.  Again, I don't take issue with anyone's ideology in theory. I do feel a strong unquenchable desire to say that EVERY ONE SHOULD AT LEAST HAVE THE INCLINATION TO DO FOR SELF  even if they never choose to exercise it. The point I am making is we should always preserve our CHOICE, and the only way to do this is to always be prepared to take care of yourself and your core needs without having to depend on anyone else. Call it your personal RAIN CHECK for self. Here are some suggestions for your RAIN CHECK: 

1. Get an education at least to the level that could translate into employment that
   would support your independence for at least a year. 
2. Don't invest in something (home, timeshare, real estate, bank account) with anyone you do not have an enforceable contract. Yes this includes being married before surrendering your whole self.
3. Always keep growing. Don't settle. Work as hard on developing your spirit as you do your worldly relationships. Your spirit will always be the first to tell you it is time to move on. Listen, learn, live.

There is one proof positive way to know if you are going to be okay. It does not take asking anyone else. Does not require taking a survey or sending away awaiting a response in the mail. This is not like going in and receiving "all good" check up from the doctor. This is a "me" thing.
You know you are okay when you are okay being alone with your joy. This joy that I have, the world did not give it and the world can't take it away.
This joy of mine comes recognizing that no one else can make me happy. Others can enhance my happiness, can make me feel happier, can even bring levity to my existing happiness. But never ever can someone else create my happiness. Having joy is an inside out thing. It originates inside our spirit and is dependent on inside attention to detail not outside attention to keep it alive.  When we forget this for even a short while we fall victim to the possibilities of being manipulated and led down a path where joy is doled out and entered into barter. If you do this, I will do that. If you behave in this way, share in this way, ask in this way, conduct yourself in this way, dress in this way, give in this way, then I will give you those things that make you happy. We start to see our situations in terms of what joy we can negotiate from it. What joy we can skim off the surface and be okay with.  Our joyful expectations become diminished, often extremely watered down. 

Looking back on it, when the trouble came we were looking the wrong way. We were looking outward for worldly answers to joy not inward. John 16:24 - Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full.

Ever bought something and convinced yourself it looked real, felt real, and could be passed off as real enough. Ever talked about this thing as if it was as real as real could get, even going out of your way to convince others that you got a great steal a great bargain on this real thing of yours. Then ever watch this thing become less real over time and you do whatever you can to continue to pass it off as real. You continue to talk it up. You clean it up some. You try to fix it where it needs to be fixed just so you can continue feeling that it is real to you. The thing is fixed up things look just like that, fixed up! Nothing real in that. And even among those that you have worked so hard to convince that you have the "real deal", they know. They may even have their own stuff they are in the middle of fixing up. You see unreal passing as real has the same universal look and feel. It is usually not around when it is most needed because it can't be. It is usually being worked on at the time.

Ever begin to get that nagging lingering feeling that this thing of yours isn't lasting, was never lasting. That the only real thing about it was your saying it was real. And the only lasting part was all the time that has passed. The real deal is this. If it wasn't real to begin with it will not last. Real things are made to last, they are just made that way.

Stop pretending and begin investing in lasting and real outcomes for you! Nothing unreal in that.

When I turned forty I invited 21 of my closest friends to a private retreat in Arizona. I rented villas for us all, no TV, no phones. For four days we had only one another. I brought Carla Hall in to be our private chef for four days in the desert. We were there to celebrate my birthday and one another. I had childhood friends, my sister, sister in law, cousins, best friend, college friends, maid of honor, my wedding planner, neighbors all with me. It was magical, spiritual, happy, introspective, raw, honest, beautiful, and real all rolled into one. We had a beautiful time as kindred sisters, sharing, caring, laughing, crying. Carla Hall made all my favorite dishes, all her food selections flown in fresh, chosen by her hands. A real highlight of the trip included a candlelit dinner celebration with young top hat supporting chefs surrounding her in the kitchen.

One evening before we left my sister in law asked me to go for a walk in the morning, just the two of us. We tried, though by morning others decided walking was not a bad idea for them too. Along our walk I noticed my sister in law Paula pick up a rock. It was a dark smooth rock. I thought nothing more about it.

When I returned home I unpacked all my lovely gifts, some included Swarovski crystal, Tiffany necklace, African sculptures, Hand crafted scrapbooks, donations to charity made in my honor, the list goes on. I was grateful for everyone of these thoughtful treasures. Nearly a decade later, I am still grateful.

I did notice back in Arizona that Paula had not given me a gift. It did not matter she was there with me. She did not have to be but she was.

When I finally finished unpacking over several lazy days I found something tucked away in my luggage. It had been placed there. Next to it a note.

The note described Paula's feelings toward me. She talked about how thankful she was that we are family and sisters. What I will never forget is what came next.
La Detra you live a blessed life. You have a lot to give and you give it freely. No matter what you have accomplished you have always kept it simple. I encourage you always to "KEEP IT SIMPLE". Love always, Paula.

I am about to turn 50 next year. For the past decade I have framed my gift from Paula. It is on display in my home. Whenever anyone asks me about it, I tell them it is the best gift I have ever received. It simply reminds me to, "Keep it simple."