Allow me to start this way. We sugarcoat too much. We try to placate the truth. Ignore the obvious too often. We would rather spread half-truths like fertilizer to a wilting crop than put full on honesty on a crop that has 1/2 a chance at coming back stronger next harvest. Why is that? More importantly, what is the harm in being more honest with one another? So at the risk of reaching for my fertilizer, I am going to try full on truth. Here goes. "We are all losing, until the moment we win!"
Over the years, I have made a lot of money helping other people win. I did not do this using fertilizer. I did this by getting them to face their truth. I could not have done anything without facing mine first.
I look at every situation first as a way for everyone to win. By this I mean, I don't want to walk all over anyone to get what I want. That play gets you nowhere fast. I look for ways to collaborate, see how everyone can come out a little better. Recently I fired someone from a project because no matter how hard I tried to get him to see otherwise, he measured every situation by gain and money. He never saw me coming and I was not the one to deliver the final blow. He made nothing out of the deal and those left standing did well.
Another time I went to a Caucasian male with a respectable level of success and made him a deal he soon understood was in his best interest to accept. I told him, I am likely to win the contract you hold now when it comes up for bid again. If you join with me now, I will split it with you 50/50. If you don't, you will end up with nothing. He took my deal. We both won! By the way, I never spoke with him directly, I asked to speak to the most senior female executive at his firm. I doubted he could handle a conversation like mine with a Black female from the other side of the country.
I win more than I lose at most things. It is not because I have the Midas Touch either. Well my husband often says I do. Anyway, it is more because I am really good at studying the landscape, sizing up opportunities, building winning teams, being willing to share the spoils, playing fairly, not allowing anyone to outthink me in my areas of expertise. I maintain open communication across the table, I don't sugarcoat bad news, I try to play three moves out. I don't back away from that voice telling me to go for it!
I recently learned I was being grossly underpaid on a contract I partnered with another firm to win. It was my contract to lose. I brought the team together. The client wanted me and I knew it. I went to my partner firm and said, I need you to fix this problem and I am allowing you a reasonable amount of time to do so. What they did not know is I had already given the paying client a heads up. I wanted my fair share, period. Now I just needed the partner firm to feel like they were in charge of addressing the issue fairly and in a timely manner. Either way, I would get the fairness I was after, one way or the other.
I don't seek credit for good works, I seek payment for good works. Credit does not spend. People respect you more when you stand up for what is rightfully yours.
I use discretion until it is time to open up my hand. I remain flexible. I am the quietest voice in the room until the environment nearly begs for my particpation. When I speak, it is only to add value. I am not the one who will regurgitate the obvious. I elevate the thinking.
And in all of this, I never lose sight of the most important thing that matters. We are all losing until the moment we win! END OF PART ONE
Over the years, I have made a lot of money helping other people win. I did not do this using fertilizer. I did this by getting them to face their truth. I could not have done anything without facing mine first.
I look at every situation first as a way for everyone to win. By this I mean, I don't want to walk all over anyone to get what I want. That play gets you nowhere fast. I look for ways to collaborate, see how everyone can come out a little better. Recently I fired someone from a project because no matter how hard I tried to get him to see otherwise, he measured every situation by gain and money. He never saw me coming and I was not the one to deliver the final blow. He made nothing out of the deal and those left standing did well.
Another time I went to a Caucasian male with a respectable level of success and made him a deal he soon understood was in his best interest to accept. I told him, I am likely to win the contract you hold now when it comes up for bid again. If you join with me now, I will split it with you 50/50. If you don't, you will end up with nothing. He took my deal. We both won! By the way, I never spoke with him directly, I asked to speak to the most senior female executive at his firm. I doubted he could handle a conversation like mine with a Black female from the other side of the country.
I win more than I lose at most things. It is not because I have the Midas Touch either. Well my husband often says I do. Anyway, it is more because I am really good at studying the landscape, sizing up opportunities, building winning teams, being willing to share the spoils, playing fairly, not allowing anyone to outthink me in my areas of expertise. I maintain open communication across the table, I don't sugarcoat bad news, I try to play three moves out. I don't back away from that voice telling me to go for it!
I recently learned I was being grossly underpaid on a contract I partnered with another firm to win. It was my contract to lose. I brought the team together. The client wanted me and I knew it. I went to my partner firm and said, I need you to fix this problem and I am allowing you a reasonable amount of time to do so. What they did not know is I had already given the paying client a heads up. I wanted my fair share, period. Now I just needed the partner firm to feel like they were in charge of addressing the issue fairly and in a timely manner. Either way, I would get the fairness I was after, one way or the other.
I don't seek credit for good works, I seek payment for good works. Credit does not spend. People respect you more when you stand up for what is rightfully yours.
I use discretion until it is time to open up my hand. I remain flexible. I am the quietest voice in the room until the environment nearly begs for my particpation. When I speak, it is only to add value. I am not the one who will regurgitate the obvious. I elevate the thinking.
And in all of this, I never lose sight of the most important thing that matters. We are all losing until the moment we win! END OF PART ONE
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