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What I've done for others, I can do for you.

11/30/2013

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We serve an awesome God. What a mighty God we serve. Trust and obey for there is no other way to be happy with Jesus except to trust and obey. 

There is no limit to what God will do. His awesome power is limitless. It is a wonder knowing that we have HIS strength on our side. We only need to call on HIM and believe HIM FOR THE PROMISE he has made for all those who believe. If only we truly layed our burdens at the alter and left them there.  How much more content our lives would be. Despite seeing God pouring out blessings on others all around us are you any less worthy? Do these other people know something you don't? Does God favor them and not you? The answer is no. Our God is a respecter of all men, what he has done for others HE can do the same for you. Notice I did not say HE will do the same for you. That is up to you. 

Do you know how to pray? Have you ever asked God for something you really deeply needed?  It is quite intimate and quite simple to do.

    Matthew 6:7 
    "When you pray, don't babble on and on as people of other religions do. They think their prayers are answered only by repeating their words again and again." (NLT)
    Ecclesiastes 5:2 
    Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few. (NIV)

I know a lot of people, so do you, who don't pray because they say they don't know how. I hope this word reaches them. If you see them around pray with them, teach them the simplicity of making their request known. 

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Wait just one minute!

11/29/2013

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Ever wish you had time back? Ever act, do, or say something in haste and instant  regret? I have and regrettably more than once. 

I am not so sure how many of us end up in this cycle of impulsiveness, behaving as if we are always out of control and time. So we act without fully considering the consequences of our deeds. We leave so much collateral damage that we become immune to it, hardened even defensive. Until that one time, the single regrettable incident that we feel the boomerang. That is that time our words or deeds mow down our target and its surrounding environment leaving nothing but dust and silence, .pain.  The shame comes back at us. It is within these dark few minutes directly following that convict us.   

James 3:5 ESV /So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!

Ephesians 4:29 ESV / Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

We realize we can't unwind those minutes, the act has been done. No high fives, no jubilation, no exaltation. We are left feeling the chill we stirred into existence. 

"Next time things will be better, I promise." How can you be sure? Because I will learn to wait just one minute. I will use that minute to breath, to examine, to check myself. One thing I have learned to be true. No one can dictate my reaction to any act or behavior. I cannot give that control over to anyone else. I must own my stuff and never cede or make excuses for how I choose to conduct myself. 

2 Timothy 1:7 ESV / For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.








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You owe me at least .... !

11/28/2013

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The satisfaction of feeling heard. The opportunity  to make up for my past mistakes without the dispriviledge of reliving them through your eyes every chance you get. Warmth, courtesy, kindness, tolerance, tenderness is welcomed my way. You owe me time. Time to meet you half way, to catch up to you, or to wait for you when that  time comes. 

I owe you these same things in turn, all of them. I don't get to pick and choose, it is all these that we signed up for when you found me and I found you. 

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Love me just one inch more.

11/27/2013

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He loves me, he loves me not. She loves me, she loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not. She loves me, she loves me not.
There are a few things I wanted to talk to you about. Just a few things on my mind. Forgive the dust on a few of these, I shied away, blame my game.

But the game is in half time and I am tired. May I use this time to tell you what I really want, what I need to finish this out?
Well thank you. So here it is my dear. What women want, what men need.

What Women Want in a Godly Man, by Debra K Fileta
Honesty
More than any other trait, women are looking for a man who is open and
honest. The thing about honesty is that it’s a sign of security. What you see is
what you get, and there is absolutely nothing to hide.

Men, it’s time to stop pretending and start being real—real with your
strengths, your weaknesses, your struggles. Real with your hopes, your dreams
and your fears. Real with who you actually are; not who you want to be. A man
who has nothing to hide becomes the safe place in which a woman can hide her
heart. Now that’s straight-up manly.

Purity
We live in a society that has fooled us into thinking that women have no
control over their emotions and men have no control over their eyes. I’m a firm
believer that this is a lie straight from the pit of hell. It sickens me to interact with women who expect their men to fall prey to lust, cheating and adultery, as if that’s just part of being a man.

There  is no doubt that we live in a world full of sexual temptation and struggles, but
it is also true that we serve a God who gives us victory over our entire being—our minds, hearts and bodies. True masculinity comes when a man has enough honor and respect for the woman in his life to say no to temptations. True masculinity comes from a man who knows his weaknesses, but sets himself up to succeed. True masculinity is found in a man who says no to the expectations of this world and lives for a higher calling.
 
Strength
There is nothing better than a man who exudes strength. Not the muscle-rippling kind of strength, but strength of mind, heart and spirit. A strength that comes from a man who knows what he believes and stands firm for what’s right. A strength in recognizing right from wrong and confessing when he has given into the latter. A strength that is confident enough to do right, choose right and be right.

 In this day of compromise, women are looking for a man who is strong enough
to stand his ground and hold on to his values, his beliefs and, most importantly, his God.

Compassion
You can always recognize a real man by taking a look at his heart. Does his
heart move for the things that move God’s heart? Is he broken by the pain in his
life? Is he moved by the sins he’s working to overcome? Is he affected when
things are not as they should be in life, in situations, in relationships?

 A real man is one who allows his heart to be moved and then allows his actions to follow his heart. A man who strives for healing, restoration and resolution. A man who strives to right the wrongs around him—and the wrongs within him. Women are looking for men of compassion, tenderness and love because therein we will always find the heart of Jesus. 

Women are looking for men of compassion, tenderness and love because therein
we will always find the heart of Jesus.

Humility
What raises a man up more than any other earthly thing is his ability to humble himself. A real man doesn’t need to talk up who he is, because his life does that for him. He can put away the talk, because a man of humility is  focused so much more on his walk. He is quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry because he has put away his “rights” for the right to be
selfless, loving and full of grace.

 The greatest example of humility is found in the manliest man: Jesus. A man
who laid down his rights and made Himself nothing in order to be an example of
undying love and affection to the bride who won His heart. Real men seek to do
the same.

This is exactly the kind of man who I allowed to win my heart. While I can safely say that he’s nowhere near perfect, he is a man who strives to uphold  honesty, purity, strength, compassion and humility in his life and in our marriage.

Women, it’s time to expect more from men, and then, to wait patiently until you see these qualities at work in his life. Don’t you dare settle for less.


Men, it’s time to say no to the lies that are being poured into your brains.  You are worth far more than that. Your masculinity is defined by so much more than you think—and that is what is truly attractive in our eyes.

May God continue to work in the lives of our men, that by His grace they would strive to carry the traits that reflect nothing less than the heart of  Jesus.
 
Now that, my friends, is what I call a manly man.


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Coming in towards home: Safe landing

11/25/2013

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Oh, but anyway, Toto, we're home – home! And this is my room – and you're  all here – and I'm not going to leave here ever, ever again, because I love you all! And... oh, Auntie Em, there's no place like home!

There is no place like home. The soft landing of being around unconditional love. Being in the sanctity of "the benefit of the doubt" among those who love you and have your back. Just being around people who would rather rub your cool cheeks, warm your feet by the fire, put something soothing in your belly, rather than chastise, judge and filter your every thought and action. Tis the season to wear that welcome mat in our hearts showing care and compassion for each the other.

We all need that chance to push reset. Who best to do that with than among family and friends who know when to listen without words or to use words that inspire and uplift? Who better to provide safe landing than among those who understand that we owe it to one another to reserve judgment? We absolutely owe it to one another to love first always.

Coming towards home, looking for that light in the window, that warm fire in the eyes of friends and family that says "come on in." You are always welcome here. Sit down, take a load off with safe landing.

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Wake up to a new day.

11/25/2013

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“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day who allows it to be invaded  with fret and anxiety.
Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept  in.
Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This new day is too dear, with its hopes and
invitations, to waste a moment on the yesterdays.”  
―    
Ralph Waldo Emerson,    

Be done with past foolishness and don't wallow is past transgressions for no day is promised yet forgiveness is yours at the asking. So wake up my friend, wake up walk forward into a new beginning never allowing the heavy chains of yesterday to guide your light footsteps. Do something grand to replace those acts that marred your footprints.
Wake up I say wake up.  -----    La Detra Joy

“The chief beauty about time is that you cannot waste it in
advance. The next year, the next day, the next hour are lying ready for you, as perfect, as unspoiled, as if you had never wasted or
misapplied a single moment in all your life. You can turn over a new leaf every hour if you choose.”  
―     Arnold Bennett

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Climbing that mountain that is yours to climb.

11/24/2013

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God will never put more on us than we can stand to bear. Is this true? We live much of our lives coming out of struggle, entering a struggle or in the middle of some sort of struggle or another. These struggles we call tests; a way of building our character, our resilience and our faith. No one likes trials. Our problems take a lot out of us. They require a lot of us to come through unscathed and sometimes unscathed is an impossibility. Thank God there is a promise that covers us. It is not in the form of a specific verse in the bible. You will not find any mention of God telling us that HE will not give us more than we can bear. There is no such verse to speak of. However, it is written that God takes on our burdens and helps us through them. GOD'S WORD® Translation Psalm 55:22
Turn your burdens over to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will never let the righteous person stumble.

So while we struggle and work our way through our most troubling times rest assured  these burdens are ours to climb, placed in our path to build something in us anew. We are not being punished, we are being awakened to another part of us that is being birthed. Trials find all of us. We must climb each troubled mountain knowing that the Lord is with us and will never leave us alone as we reach for the other side.
New Living Translation Deuteronomy 31:8
Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with  you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.

This is HIS promise and that is good enough for me.

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Thanks by Giving

11/23/2013

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Living the good life huh? Things going well in your corner? Feeling good about you and yours? All the columns adding up emotionally, physically, financially, morally, spiritually, and in any other "lly" you desire? Well excellent and good....so very good for you! You are being blessed beyond measure. You are living in a very good space. You have been shown great favor and that my dear is a wonderful wonderful thng. So now the question we all are asking of you, "Are you giving back in at least as many ways as you are receiving?" Are you showing thanks by giving? Because if you are not then what was your blessing all about to begin with?

Luke 12:48
King James Version (KJV) 
48 But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they
will ask the more.


People who have more should do more. I don't mean give it away, I mean share it away. Whether you have a certain talent, expertise, physical resources, yes sometimes money, transportation, education, the gift of council, scripture, song, discernment, patience, tolerance, or whatever your blessings might be.....share them away in a thankful way.

God will keep refilling your tank I promise. Because when you are obedient to HIS word  and live under the mantra, "to much who is given, much is expected" then you will never be able to beat God's giving to you in return.

THE PARABLE OF THE FAITHFUL SERVANT
The Lord said, "Who then is the faithful and wise steward, whom his lord
will set over his household, to give them their portion of food at the right
times? Blessed is that servant whom his lord will find doing so when he comes.
Truly I tell you, that he will set him over all that he has. But if that servant
says in his heart, 'My lord delays his coming,' and begins to beat the
menservants and the maidservants, and to eat and drink, and to be drunken, then
the lord of that servant will come in a day when he isn't expecting him, and in
an hour that he doesn't know, and will cut him in two, and place his portion
with the unfaithful. That servant, who knew his lord's will, and didn't prepare,
nor do what he wanted, will be beaten with many stripes, but he who didn't know,
and did things worthy of stripes, will be beaten with few stripes. To whomever
much is given, of him will much be required; and to whom much was entrusted, of
him more will be asked.

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Go where you are celebrated not tolerated

11/22/2013

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No doubt, everyone knows when they are living in an unwelcome moment. In actuality, the cold shoulder projects universal feelings. It is painful to see someone over stay their welcome in a situation. Not only is it hard to watch it is equally hard to understand. My pastor once said in a sermon, "Go where you are celebrated not tolerated." The befuddlement, is it harder to stay or is it harder to leave?

People over stay for different reasons. You think things will change. You don't have a better alternative. You are trying to avoid the pain of leaving. You blame outside forces for getting in the way. You have sunk to a place where you now believe you actually deserve the treatment you are getting. Regrettably, you simply just don't love yourself enough to walk away and never look back.

Here are few questions to ask yourself as you prepare to move into spaces where you are celebrated not just tolerated.
  1. Is this the way I want to live the rest of my life?
  2. Am I constantly giving more in the relationship than I am getting?
  3. Am I often resetting what I will tolerate from this relationship?
  4. Do I believe in my heart there is greater joy on the other side clear of "this?"

If you answered yes to two or more questions above you might have taken your first step toward being celebrated.

God grant me the strength to act on the things I can change; 
celebration after the things I've changed; and the wisdom to make a difference.

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If not you then who?

11/20/2013

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My mom used to say, "If I want something done, I best do it myself." Usually when she said this she was completely exasperated by whatever situation she was consumed. "If I want something done, I best do it myself." 

There is so much truth in this statement. It can be frustrating waiting on someone else to make a decision, take some sort of action, or respond in some way or another to you. Ever been in a situation where someone else held all the cards, financially, emotionally, physically? How does that feel? Well to me it feels heavy, makes me feel dependent, restrained, hostage and weak; when I really want to feel empowered, free and abled. Interestingly, society teaches us that it is okay for instance for a woman to look to a man for her security, protection, financial stability .The bible speaks to a woman submitting to her husband. Little girls grow up looking to someday marry a man who will take care of them. I think whatever works for each individual is their business. Me forcing my point of view on you does nothing more than add to the very things I profess to despise, e.g. restrictions.  Again, I don't take issue with anyone's ideology in theory. I do feel a strong unquenchable desire to say that EVERY ONE SHOULD AT LEAST HAVE THE INCLINATION TO DO FOR SELF  even if they never choose to exercise it. The point I am making is we should always preserve our CHOICE, and the only way to do this is to always be prepared to take care of yourself and your core needs without having to depend on anyone else. Call it your personal RAIN CHECK for self. Here are some suggestions for your RAIN CHECK: 

  1. Get an education at least to the level that could translate into employment that
    would support your independence for at least a year. 
  2. Don't invest in something (home, timeshare, real estate, bank account) with anyone you do not have an enforceable contract. Yes this includes being married before surrendering your whole self.
  3. Always keep growing. Don't settle. Work as hard on developing your spirit as you do your worldly relationships. Your spirit will always be the first to tell you it is time to move on. Listen, learn, live.


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Don't just begin with Jesus, end with Jesus

11/18/2013

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Most everyone I know today grew up in the church, well most everyone. We grew up dressing in our Sunday best, attending Sunday school, and if we were lucky only going to church once on Sunday....not that second after dinner service. Many I know attended the obligatory Wednesday bible school. We called it hump day. To be short, we were "churched" starting at an early age and continuing almost as long as we lived in our parent's house. My own momma used to say, "If you can stay out at night, you can go to church in the morning." Well some nights she added a bit of "creative expletives" depending on what time we came in the night before. In short, many of us grew up knowing Jesus, fearing the wrath of Jesus or the "switch" of momma or daddy. It translated into what our parents called "good rearing". One thing that can't be contested.......WE GREW UP WITH JESUS, LOVING THE LORD.

Then comes that time when we go out on our own. This is the point when life happens. Oh those demands of life, work, family, balancing home and work.....you get the picture. This is the time that momma's switch is not in the rear view mirror. We are left to our own convictions. We must decide what benefit, what value JESUS brings to our lives. We wrestle with the effort we are willing to make to maintain that spiritual connection in a church environment. It is hard. At least for me, I started  out single trying to attend church every Sunday more out of habit and guilt than anything. I liked being able to say I was attending church no matter what Saturday brought. 

When I became married, I transitioned into, "We must go to church, it is the right thing for us and the marriage." This was the toughest period of all. If you both aren't in agreement you can be persuaded easily. 

Then kids. "We must attend church because that is how we were raised!" That is hard because if you aren't in it "for real", it is work.......hard work.

So why are you still going to church? Why do you worship? No need to tell you what the bible says. It is important to know for yourself why? Why are you in this so called relationship with your maker?

 

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This new light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine.

11/17/2013

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What is the point of becoming brand new if you can't, if you won't tell somebody about it?

This New Light of Mine
This new light of mine, I'm gonna let it  shine. This new light of mine, I'm gonna  show a sign. Show a sign, show a sign, show it's mine.

Why go through something if you just gonna keep it to yourself? Why be tested and come out on the other side if you won't help others do the same?

Won't let others blow it out. I know what I'm all about. Won't let man refuse my shout. I'm gonna let it out, gonna shout, gonna shout, let it out.


What is the point of living new if you can't bring someone else along? What's the point of doing new without making it your song?

So let it shine, show your sign. Let it out, learn to shout. 
  
1 John 1:7 ESV / 6 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship
with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.




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This joy of mine.

11/16/2013

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There is one proof positive way to know if you are going to be okay. It does not take asking anyone else. Does not require taking a survey or sending away awaiting a response in the mail. This is not like going in and receiving "all good" check up from the doctor. This is a "me" thing.
You know you are okay when you are okay being alone with your joy. This joy that I have, the world did not give it and the world can't take it away.
This joy of mine comes recognizing that no one else can make me happy. Others can enhance my happiness, can make me feel happier, can even bring levity to my existing happiness. But never ever can someone else create my happiness. Having joy is an inside out thing. It originates inside our spirit and is dependent on inside attention to detail not outside attention to keep it alive.  When we forget this for even a short while we fall victim to the possibilities of being manipulated and led down a path where joy is doled out and entered into barter. If you do this, I will do that. If you behave in this way, share in this way, ask in this way, conduct yourself in this way, dress in this way, give in this way, then I will give you those things that make you happy. We start to see our situations in terms of what joy we can negotiate from it. What joy we can skim off the surface and be okay with.  Our joyful expectations become diminished, often extremely watered down. 

Looking back on it, when the trouble came we were looking the wrong way. We were looking outward for worldly answers to joy not inward. John 16:24 - Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full.

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Your own best cheerleader.

11/14/2013

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It is really not very difficult to cheer on your favorite team. To stand by your friend and be the loudest voice in the room. We could easily burst a blood vessel screaming at our child's soccer tournament or T-ball game. It is easy to get into the fray of joyful anticipation watching them try so hard to succeed. Some will tell most anybody willing to listen about someone else's victories, especially if it is someone near and dear to us. Who hasn't posted a child's  honor roll certificate on Facebook or thought about it? We do it effortlessly. That feeling we get knowing someone is rooting for you....jubilation, pride, confidence. It is our fuel to keep moving, keep forging.

The older we get that cheer squad shows up less and less. Perhaps we have forgotten how it once felt to hear words of  adulation, so we stop sharing them too. No matter where our support comes from, we must also be completely okay with cheering on ourselves.

BE YOUR OWN CHEERLEADER BY MIKE ROBBINS
In other words, when we wait for other people, the accomplishment of specific goals or the manifestation of ideal circumstances to create the excitement, joy and inspiration for our lives, we give away our personal power and live in an insatiable way. Cheering for ourselves with passion, and with a true sense of love and appreciation is not arrogant, it's actually required if we're going to live a life of fulfillment, gratitude, and meaning.

Arrogance is based on fear and insecurity. Whenever I catch myself doing or saying anything arrogant (which I do on a pretty regular basis) it's because I'm feeling insecure, wanting someone to like me or be impressed with me, or trying to compensate for some perceived "lack" within or about myself. There's nothing "evil" about us being arrogant, it's just not all that much fun for us or others -- and living our life from a place of arrogance can cause a great deal of pain, suffering and hurt for ourselves and those around us.

Authentic self appreciation is about loving, valuing and honoring ourselves, our gifts and all of who we are -- both light and dark. The words, thoughts, and feelings may seem similar to arrogance; however, they're not. Energetically, self appreciation comes from a very different place within us than arrogance does. The more we practice loving and appreciating ourselves, the easier it is for us to tell the difference.

Here is a list of some things you can do to practice loving, appreciating, and cheering for yourself in an authentic and powerful way:

  • Speak about yourself positively

  • When someone compliments you, breathe, let it in and say "thank you" (don't discount it)

  • Say affirmations to yourself in the mirror, and use your first name (i.e. "I love you, Mike")

  • Write down things you appreciate about yourself in your journal on a regular basis

  • Send yourself an email or card of appreciation -- from you, to you

  • Buy yourself flowers or some token of appreciation that makes you feel good

  • Ask for the acknowledgment you'd like

  • Make requests of others (remember that you don't have to do it all yourself)

  • Take time for yourself and by yourself

  • Celebrate your successes (big and small) and pat yourself on the back regularly

    Sadly, this high regard many of us have for ourselves and our lives as babies, toddlers and even little kids is often "trained" out of us as we learn the ways of the "real" world. Directly and indirectly we hear and see things that lead us to believe that we are not good enough, need to be fixed and are fundamentally flawed. We also learn early on that it's not cool, socially acceptable or even appropriate to act, think or speak about ourselves in ways that may be perceived as overly positive or downright arrogant.
    (Excerpt)

    I say cheer on. Celebrate! Rejoice! Share your talents. Be thankful.



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While you were sleeping

11/13/2013

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We are covered beyond our measure, protected by an omnipresent force beyond our human apprehension. We can live unfettered and carefree knowing that there is a bridge over our troubled waters and we are free. We can close our eyes, lay down our tired heads, rest in peace and serenity all because of our covering. We can live without fear or apprehension, can point our nose toward adventure and dare to be completely different because we have that special covering.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING
While you were sleeping your covering guards your sides, sprinkling perfect peace, soothing rising tides. You awake to each new day knowing protection is always near. You stay clear of present danger and live outside of fear. 

You navigate rough and tumbling seas, not because of your own keenness but because of your covering. You stand tall in confrontation, stay firm in misery, it is not a strength of your own making but again HIS covering.


 

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    La Detra Joy

    I love being around people. I would rather live falling than break my spirit never trying anything hard. This blog is about trying and retrying life.

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