Let me begin by saying I have never once in my life been struck by a man physically. I know women who have. It is almost surprising to me that I have not as sometimes the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. That is not to say my parents fought with fists, they did not that I am aware. Frankly my dad is just not that kind of dude by far. But life happens and some time after my father left our home, I saw and heard too much through walls that did not sleep. Abuse is generational. Whether I look back to my grandparents' time, parents' time or now, I have never in my entire life met anyone, especially a woman who deserved to be struck by another person. . . ever! October is national domestic abuse awareness month. I am doing my part to lend my voice to the fight to end it, pun intended.

I have vivid memories from my personal reference. My closest personal encounters with abuse came in the 11th grade. A popular boyfriend who played football in college broke up with me. After we broke up, he said he never wanted to see me out. It was the first time I heard the word forbid, even had to look it up. I guess he was saying I should be both the broken up with girlfriend and the one who never leaves her house again.  One night I did go out. When this ex-boyfriend who broke up with me saw me, he bolted toward me with an open hand to strike me it appeared. Just in his path was my fearless BFF Carla who interrupted his inertia and slapped him clear across his face instead. You had to be there to believe that one for sure!

The second time I was in college, again with an athlete (I did not learn my lesson it seems). This time basketball. I went from my college to his college for a house party. I did not drink then. Instead, I watched him get sloshed. Not once inside the party did he speak to me, so after awhile I danced and socialized with other people I did not know. After some time passed my "date" got on the house microphone and cursed me out with big, nasty, vile, hurtful words that did not describe me in the least. I was desperate to get back to my dorm but knew no one at the party to ask. Likely no one would have taken me anyway, given my "date" was a superstar in their midst. So after watching this inebriated date pee  in the parking lot on his car, he took me home, so I thought. Miles down the road he reached over me in the passenger seat and opened my door while speeding down the road. He told me to get out! I did not move. When I was back in front of my dorm I used every single one of those words right back at him that he had spewed into the microphone. I added just a few for flavor. I was one angry black woman who was not playing and would not be played with again.

These were the last times anyone ever came close to hurting me physically. I was sixteen and twenty years old respectively.

Another story (and there are more) was not mine to tell but that of a friend. Since it is not my story, I will just say this. At about our same age at the time (age 20) her boyfriend who claimed to love her immensely, broke several bones in her body including breaking her toes, all of them. Another very close friend was murdered by her boyfriend. None of us were age twenty-one yet. And we were the smart, feisty, take no prisoner types.

Ladies, especially young women, take heed. Do not ever stand for being abused verbally or physically by ANYONE. Just do not do it. Do not, do not, do not. Not even once.

When he says love you to the moon and back. Make sure you love yourself even more.

In January 2015 God Almighty spoke to me, not in a dream state but in a fully aware, I need you listening state. He told me he needed my help. He did not ask, he instructed me to begin a women's ministry. A place where all women saved or unsaved can come together to celebrate, rejoice, purge and grow together. I barely hesitated, though I did wonder how I could fit what would become AWESOME LIFE MINISTRIES into my already extremely cluttered life. I had already begun clearing my already plates running over. I was just beginning to say no to people. But when God spoke I knew no was not an option. His voice was clear and precise. He said I will bring you the help you need, and he did. And with the assistance of 13 women our ministry was born.

I ask you to imagine a night of tranquility, healing, affirmation, and surrendering. Now I want you to imagine a common thread running throughout; a sisterhood of support, love, compassion and understanding of each other's plight. No judgment. No critique. Just love and acceptance. This is God's way. His blueprint for those he loves without condition. Our ministry does the same. We have open arms, open hearts, and receptive spirits. Many lives are touched, souls are stirred and in case after case spirits transfixed by the environment.

I love that I was this once obedient to His call on my life. I have learned so much from my sisters. I have laughed, cried, rejoiced and been jolted by the testimonies of others.  I learned that none of us is immune to pain. And if we allow God to take the wheel he will deliver us. So many tragic stories. Some so sad. Some that leave you breathless and angry. Some that leave you cheering. All true, these stories are wrapped tight in a package of deliverance. It is truly a tingling to the ear to hear how God brought so many women through so much. You are left scratching the arms of your chair stretched forward in your seat. You want to hear the happy ending. You ask where was God when all this was going on? And before the night is over you will learn the very answers to that question.

Everyone in the place has a God ordained appointment to be present, to bear witness. You never quite know what to expect, but you always know it is of God and with his eternal blessing. God is so awesome in his ability to get his way using us. I am okay with that, after all we belong to him. There should be no separation between our will and his will for our life.

So in complete submission, our table has been set. Www.awesomelife.eventbrite.com

Atlanta 10/6 at 7 PM THE EVENT IS FREE

Allow me to set expectations for potential pundits. This is not a political post. I do not write on the subject of politics. This is a message from one citizen to another. From one CEO to another. I am motivated by my convictions of the spirit-world not of the man-world.

Mr. Trump, let me begin by saying there are so many qualities about you I admire. There are many that I do not. I admire your business savvy. Your ability to bring your self up even higher than you began. I admire your confidence, your ability to close deals. I admire your wealth and risk taking. All fabulous qualities. There was a time in my forties I even wanted to be on your successful show 'The Apprentice.' I learned a lot watching the program over several years. You, Mr. Trump are an American icon.

Mr. Trump you are also a disappointment. I am disappointed mostly by your tactics. I have watched, listened, studied and leaned in as you have displayed your ignorance to the world. I am disappointed because with your means and access, you can use your power and persuasion so much more effectively to do so much good.  A missed opportunity to leave an awesome legacy and blueprint.

My stomach turns when I hear the way you hurl insults at others you perceive as a threat or easy targets. You fight battles with hurtful words that sting and may never heal. I especially mourn the way you have characterized women whether attacking their talent or physical characteristics. When I hear these actions double-downed on by you it causes me deeper sadness and yes anger. The bible says, to whom much is given, much is expected. Like it or not Mr. Trump but from you much is expected.

My grandmother used to tell me, "When you know better, you do better."

Your persona is not lost on my young children. You come off as the bully on the playground I warned them about. When they see and hear you behave like that bully, I have no words. Your stinging antics set such a horrendous example for young and old alike.

So from one citizen to another. From one CEO to another, please this once, take a page out of my grandma's play book. "When you know better, you do better."

I wish you nothing but the greatest of success and riches. Inside out. More so, I wish you conscious of good thought.
Mrs. White

One of the best early lessons I have ever learned came a long, long time ago. Lessons like the one I am about to share are not easy to talk about. Not easy because we live in a judgmental society. Some will read this post and ask themselves, why is she telling people this? It should be personal. While I respect one's right to their own opinion I respect my right to share mine even more.

I worked at a job one summer. It was a prestigious, well coveted, well paying internship with State Farm Insurance Company in Bloomington, IL. I had all the trappings of success being laid out before me. Several hundred college students applied and I became one of the lucky few. Our days were spent learning the fundamentals of business under the tutelage of accomplished business minds. Sitting at the helm was Mr. Dear. Mr. Dear hand picked me for the job as he had done several of my fellow intern comrades. It was to be one summer of excellence for all. Bloomington, Illinois did not disappoint. It was just big enough to be engaging and just close enough to Chicago to be enchanting. This city was also the first in my memory that I was ever called a nigg#@. I tell this because we are not immune. None of us. It would not be the last time I heard that vulgarity hurled my way. In not one instance did the person know me personally. It went deeper than that for them. Places I could not fix by just being me.

I wondered why throughout our internship Mr. Dear used to always get time alone with the minority interns. He always ended our encounters with "You have to be better than your yesterday in order to succeed. Average will not do" I heard this a million times from him over the summer until one day he called me into his office. I stilled myself for another much anticipated, hearty and insightful discussion which would end with, "You have to be better than your yesterday in order to succeed. Average will not do"  Instead he invited me in and asked me to shut the door. His opening words were, "I would like to meet this one on paper." I looked down at the paper and it was my resume. My heart sprinted to my throat. Within minutes he went on to tell me that I had been a disappointment to him in my role as intern. I was not meeting his or my mentors' expectations in the job. I was not the person they had met on paper. Mr. Dear told me I am sharing this with you out of love. I am supremely interested in you succeeding not only this summer but in life. In order to do so I must always show up and outperform yesterday. My lack of performance was reflecting badly on his choice in selecting me and him professionally as he was a career executive with State Farm Corporate. The most senior African-American in his position.

Tears welled up in my eyes. Mr. Dear told me he had heard from another intern that I had been called a nigg#@ by someone locally (Burger King employee). He told me there was nothing further from the truth. He said you are a CEO waiting to blossom. And if I chose to I could come back and buy that Burger King one day. I knew in an instant Mr. Dear too was not immune to hearing that word.

I never forgot Mr. Dear's words. "You have to be better than your yesterday in order to succeed, Average will not do."  The rest of the summer I kicked some internship butt and received special recognition from my peers. I have carried this lesson with me for over thirty years. Paper may open doors but is never strong enough by itself,  to hold doors open. I hope it helps those that come behind.

Growing up with momma I was such a precocious child. In those days she called it "hard headed". I won't disagree. I had my own ideas about things. I did not like to be told what to do. More to the point, I did not like to be told to do anything other than what I wanted doing. I listened out of one ear. Over and over I would be spanked or lectured into submission. I did not know better so I did not do better.

My mother used to say, God is going to pay you back in spades for how you have treated me. I used to think, wow that sounds so old school. Wheresoever did you come up with that? My response to everything contrary was, "I need not worry, when I grow up I am going to have a maid." Funny thing is, fast forward 35 years, I have become my mother. All those things I rebuked, I now honor. As heartbreaking as it sounds, momma was not around to see it through. Momma is in heaven, looking down saying, "I told you so..... and oh, where is that maid you spoke about so often?"

This post is about following the breadcrumbs that have been laid out for us to follow. Breadcrumbs almost without fail are laid in love and preparation. I ignored so many. For example my mother used to BEG me to watch her cook. She was one awesome cook too from down south. I used to rebuke her requests, but I was the first one to pull up to the table when it was finished. My daughter was her revenge. Can't get her in the kitchen with me to save my life. The only words she wants to hear are "dinner!"

I know so much more now but I can't rewind time. If momma were here I would sit at her feet and lay my head in her lap. "I am sorry momma. You tried your best in every way imaginable. I messed up by not listening with both ears."

I have never had a maid but sho nuff would love one more day with momma. All in, both ears.

I have been married just shy of 25 years. I married my prince, my best friend. The  man God sent me as a life mate. I am able to see my best in him. He has made me better without ever trying to change me. Throughout our marriage he has allowed me to breath. He has stood in the corner when I made mistakes, covered his eyes when I acted really ugly. Even when my ugliness was targeted at him.

Quite contrary, I spent a long time trying to change him. I made it my job to make him over. All to no avail. The harder I pushed, the more he resisted. I heard many times, "I am not your child. You are not my mother." I thought then STOP acting like it. See this my way. I am only trying to help you, help us, I bemoaned.

Then after many years of trying to change him, I awakened to a provocative revelation. Something perhaps he realized a long time ago. It was not my job, my place, or in my authority to change him. Just as he was not in any position to change me. Only God can do that. Only God has that authority. He changes us through a changed heart. Man is not in the changing business, God is and God does.

"And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit."   [2 Corinthians 3:18]

Looking back I can see now how my tactics had all backfired. I drove a wedge where there should have been a bridge. I built walls that after awhile were easier not to climb. I caused silence that should have been filled with laughter. I caused glares that could have been alluring winks. I created an environment that was changing not a man that was changed.

One day I threw up my hands in complete despair. I told God, I am done! You take it from here. Do something with him. God did something all right. But not with him, but with me. He started by telling me to leave his son alone. Back off! Leave him to HIM.  He placed on my heart that I did not create my husband and I can't remake what God had wonderfully made. God said, "You are messing up what I made as perfect."

"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." [Ephesians 2:10]

I now know that God allowed me to suffer for so long because I was getting into HIS business. I learned my lesson and after some time he restored my marriage. Only after he restored my heart.

Ladies we need to pray for our husbands. Pray as if the thing you are praying for has already been done. Thank God for it upfront and believe it to be so.

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. [Psalm 37:4-5]

Most of all we must pray for understanding. Pray that we are able to meet God where HE is in us. Pray that we are able to exceed HIS expectations for our marriage.

God does such a grand job of explaining what he was up to when he created heaven and earth. He describes in vivid detail what he did, why he did it and what he expected of all that he created. That creation included at its center mankind. What is especially magnificent is his order. There was nothing fortuitous and nothing of importance over-looked. It took me years to fully appreciate where I fit into his planning, and even longer to fully embrace that his plan for me began before I ever existed. How awesome is that? To think that each of us had at our beginning origins that went back further than the mind can imagine. In recent years, during what I describe as my second act, I have set out on a journey to discover my reason for being here. The reason for my creation.

The bible is pretty prescriptive when it comes to our role as Christians. Look no further than the ten commandments. In my reasoning of things though, I am convinced that our existence transcends merely following a list of dos and don'ts. I can't imagine God would have gone through all that trouble creating us down to counting the hairs on our head, just to keep score on which commandments we excelled at and which ones we failed by colossal proportions.

The scripture "many are called but few are chosen" strikes me as God's invitation for each of us to gain his favor by going above and beyond scripture. It is that finite space between our being saved and the time we are joined with him in eternity and how we choose to fill it. I almost wrote how we choose to feel it which would also be true. In both cases, God is waiting for us to take the blessing of the life he has bestowed upon us and play out our interpretation of its meaning. I don't believe there is a right or wrong in it as long as we are anchored in giving him the glory. I am so sure of this feeling because why else would he have created so many textures of human kind? He was never seeking a cookie-cutter world, not at all.

I truly believe our life is meant to be an expression of our choice to play out the gift of creation God has granted to each of us uniquely. The operative word is choice. This word "choice" appears 47 times in the bible. We can choose to squander our gift or to magnify it. With magnification we elevate our spirit life to a higher realm just by seeing God in everything. It is simple really. We become God-centered creatures in all that we say and do. And when we do this, those commandments become a backdrop. Not something we strive to keep but commandments we refuse to break.

I love my second act. I thank God for saving me. I love our partnership. I appreciate the way he loves me through my good and my bad. His goodness and mercy guide me through uncertain times. I celebrate my existence and thank him each and every day for his call on my life. I pray that he rejoices in my expression of his goodness by the way I live my life.

There is this story of a dog who loved his owner more than anything. Every day the dog's owner would leave for work and return home after dark. Without fail, the owner would leave by saying "Take care of the house Spot and when I come back I will bring you a treat."  Spot did his part, the owner never, not once, did his. Despite this, Spot's love for his owner never ceased. Spot loved him unconditionally. He loved him in spite of all this. Each day Spot heard the same words, if you do this, I will do that. This went on for many years. There was never a day Spot was not there waiting for his owner, patient, eager, and accepting. Day after day. Evening after evening as darkness settled in.

One day as usual the owner said goodbye with the words, "Take care of the house old Spot and when I return I will bring you a treat." Some time past dark the owner returned. And when he called out to Spot, he did not come. Surprised the owner called out to Spot again, then again, then several more times. "Spot old man," he asked, "Where are you?" No answer. There was complete silence. An then in this instance the owner felt all alone. He searched everywhere for Spot. And Spot was nowhere to be found. How can this be the owner asked himself? Spot knows me. He knows when I return home. My behavior has been the same all his life. I am predictable. We have an understanding Spot and me. The owner became fearful. Where was his loyal companion?

After some time and much searching, the owner decided to turn in. Beside his bed he placed a dog bone he had brought home for Spot. The next morning he awakened with such dread in his heart. He carried a heaviness he had never felt before. As he rose he saw a figure at the bottom of his bed lying down. It was his beloved Spot. As he approached, Spot did not move. He got close and reached out to his dog petting his head with excitement. He ran to his bedside and said, "Look Spot, see what I brought you!" Spot did not respond. Spot had stopped seeing a long time ago. He was now completely blind. It came slowly at first then progressed then total darkness. There was no more light. The owner never saw it coming. 

As he sat on the floor with Spot's head in his lap he stared down at the treat he had brought him. Spot never got to see anything again. Spot would have to rely on words now like never before. Somehow he hoped his owner could see that.

This story reminds me of our relationship in God's eyes. Those times we say Lord please do this for me and I will do that for you. We make this promise over and over and over. And despite our empty promises God through his grace for our lives keeps giving, always there for us loving, protecting, providing. We continue receiving his goodness with open arms and expectancy, without a conscious thought of where God's goodness comes from. We slowly seep into blind spots, selfish and undeserving.

Then one day when we wake up to our selfishness and become truly conscious of who loves us and is ever-present, we throw God a bone. A token of our being present and aware. By then it is too late, we become too old in our ways to truly receive the gifts God was providing all along. Even in this time God does not leave us though in our heart we feel blind to the light he was offering throughout our lives with or without that bone.  

It does not have to be this way. We only need to embrace our relationship with God from a place of authenticity and pure love. This is God's wish for our lives. And even if we never give this love to him, God will never tire of giving his untethered love to us. Though we may never see him. Yet he is there waiting to be seen.

Really? For real real? You will sop me up with a biscuit? If true, I receive that! All of that! But before you fully commit to that notion, may I explain what that means to me, in today's terms? With your agreement, might we proceed? After all it is me who is being sopped up with that biscuit!

1. Let's make love when "WE" are in love.

That means I did not feel like I did 200% of a 100% job all week. It might mean that I was met 1/2 way on a whole way street. Does that sop on your biscuit? If so....let's proceed. I am game. Where is that biscuit?

2. Let's assume in this moment that we talked out our differences, we reasoned through our understandings on key subjects at hand. Said in a different way, we realized we are in this together. Does that sop on your biscuit? If so, let's proceed.

3. Let's  acknowledge that I am here, we are here not because we pledged, not because we stood before a judge, not because "the Jones" said it is the right thing to do. But we are here because remaining here is stronger than breaking "here" apart.

So sop me up with a biscuit, not by doing, not by saying, but by being "The biscuit I can't live without!"

If you are not the person you used to be. Not filled with ways you used to exhibit. If you have been made over, shook up, twisted into a new shape, then it is time for you to take a bow. It is time for you to bow to your inner self.  Bow now, don't be afraid. You deserve it. Bend way over even hold it for awhile. Take it in. Allow the moment to fill you up, spread over you, give you goose bumps. This bow is for real. It came with a lot of work. So take the bow. Don't put it off. This bow is for you, because only you know how close you were to never taking it.

Look at yourself in the mirror. Take a nice long stare at you. Like what you see? Of course you do because this person is new to you. This beautiful person staring back at you is here to stay. Breathe in, breathe nice long satisfying breaths. Feel that? Of course you feel it. It is pure oxygen. Your oxygen. Oxygen that will never again be wasted doing, saying, feeling, or seeing things from an upside down perspective. Your life is the glass half full. No room for negative thoughts or negative people. See in that mirror who you have become. What a spectacular reflection. A life reflecting love, patience, forgiveness, and good works.

Now that you have taken your bow, paying homage to your inner spirit, it time to step out there. One gradual step at a time. Stand tall and walk toward your life that awaits. Open up your spirit, spread your heart wide, and show the world the new you. You don't have to say anything. You can show them better than you can tell them anyhow.

Go claim your victory! Are you ready? Of course you are ready. You were born ready! This is your day the Lord has made, now go be glad and rejoice in it! Make the world glad they met you.