It is completely okay to ask questions out loud. Completely acceptable to wonder out loud. There is value in not knowing. It is okay to doubt one's circumstance. There is learning that comes from being in limbo.
When I feel doubt I look for places with spaces that may provide answers. Maybe not a complete answer that sooths everything. But places with spaces that provide direction. Usually I end of looking where I left off.
When I am looking for the answer to why things happen that cause confusion and pain and suffering, I am not trying to find someone to blame. I am looking for somewhere to begin change. I am looking for a way to become part of something lasting.
When I am feeling overwhelmed by grief, I look for the place where I last found happiness. Sometimes it comes with a scent, or photograph or memory or song or whatever. What I do not do, is look for spaces that reinforce the pain I feel inside.
I take a deep breath and I study my moment. I ask myself, is this the way you want to feel forever? When my answer comes back no, I begin the work to get better. I don't try to pretend that what I am feeling is not real or justified. I just try to will myself into a better place with better space.
I know the feeling of being one-two punched by life. It is a horrible feeling that leaves lasting bruises. Each time I am knocked down I am forever changed. And no I do not come back stronger. I come back changed. As I pick myself up each time, I am reminded that I was not promised anything beyond life and death. It is that time I spend between those inevitable two that matters most.
So that's it. I can spend time in limbo looking for someone to blame for my unfortunate circumstance or I can say a prayer of thanks to God Almighty that I still have that time between life and death to figure out a better space in a better place for me.
When I feel doubt I look for places with spaces that may provide answers. Maybe not a complete answer that sooths everything. But places with spaces that provide direction. Usually I end of looking where I left off.
When I am looking for the answer to why things happen that cause confusion and pain and suffering, I am not trying to find someone to blame. I am looking for somewhere to begin change. I am looking for a way to become part of something lasting.
When I am feeling overwhelmed by grief, I look for the place where I last found happiness. Sometimes it comes with a scent, or photograph or memory or song or whatever. What I do not do, is look for spaces that reinforce the pain I feel inside.
I take a deep breath and I study my moment. I ask myself, is this the way you want to feel forever? When my answer comes back no, I begin the work to get better. I don't try to pretend that what I am feeling is not real or justified. I just try to will myself into a better place with better space.
I know the feeling of being one-two punched by life. It is a horrible feeling that leaves lasting bruises. Each time I am knocked down I am forever changed. And no I do not come back stronger. I come back changed. As I pick myself up each time, I am reminded that I was not promised anything beyond life and death. It is that time I spend between those inevitable two that matters most.
So that's it. I can spend time in limbo looking for someone to blame for my unfortunate circumstance or I can say a prayer of thanks to God Almighty that I still have that time between life and death to figure out a better space in a better place for me.
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