Well somebody's gotta say it. We are too gullible a species. It is no wonder more of us don't fly into glass windows. Ever hear the saying, if it sounds too good to be true it likely is?

​We are so starved for attention, for change, for skipping steps, we walk right into the trap being set. That hole in our heart or our head is so deep we reach out for anything different, shinier, loftier than the moment at hand. If the birds could talk, they would give us an ear full I betcha. At least we learn the first time they would scold.

Most of the truly stupid decisions I have made were during times of extreme impatience or while believing I was smarter than the other guy. I entered into situations like playing a shell game, ever-trusting the odds were in my favor. I talked myself into believing I remained one step ahead of the other guy. And when I was wrong from miscalculation, it cost me dearly, both emotionally and financially.

You would think we would learn. Learn to excercise that common sense muscle we were born with. The one that if not routinely excercised we lose the use of it. God will even send down his angel to tap us on the shoulder ... to stand in the way of the ensuing calamity. And what do we do? We swat that angel away. Mind your own business says our behavior.

And when the common sense muscle goes unused we become greater prey. We become a target of those who do not live their life praying but plotting.

Common sense comes with it radar, if only we stuck our heads above the sand long enough to hear it.

It is becoming more murky to maintain my center. It is in this center that I find my strength and drive and passion. It is where I stand in my wreck less abandon toward things I care about. Mostly a care that extends toward my fellow mankind. A caring spirit to do my part to improve the world I live in.

I have been around the world visiting nearly 40 countries in all. No matter where I found myself, the one thing I could always count on is that longing for home. That feeling of I would rather be home than here. A place familiar and beautiful and tolerant and substantial and diverse and prosperous and intentionally invitational.

Today I read something that STOPPED me in my center. It caused my heart to skip beats. It is where policy dictated actions that stir my spirit into a tailspin.

It made home feel unfamiliar. Detention centers being created at airports to keep others without due process out of our country.

What is happening? What is next? Where is my home?

Mr. President

As the dew passes over the horizon so do the whispers of the dandelion on the open prairie. The landscape will never be as it was found. You have left footprints that history cannot untell, spoken truths that caused jubilation among the ancestors.

You rang bells in the hearts of small men in huts and among Kings who sit upon thrones. You have awakened the unimaginable in ghettos of Soweto and the upper west side.

You have stood tall when confronted, majestic when insulted. You have shown the power of silence where fists were more expedient.

You have projected what tall looks like, feels like, acts like.

You have led a nation of people and a tribe of forgotten.

There will be others like you because you sprinkled an inspired pathway of believing it is possible.

Mr. President, I will look for your mighty footsteps in the valley along my way and on the mountain top on the other side. Barack Hussein Obama - My Forever President.

There were these prisoners being held in a community somewhere familiar. Many had been there all of their natural lives. They lived each day surviving, feeling lost and not yet found.

Each morning one of the captors would come to the gate that encased them. The one that separated them from freedom. He never entered the gate. He never got close enough to touch it. He merely spoke. You are prisoners. There is no escape. And he walked away.

The next day and the day after that. You are prisoners. There is no escape.

Among these prisoners was one they called Mother. Mother was old, and blind, and deaf. No one paid much attention to Mother. She was one of them and completely harmless. Mother in her condition had never once heard the words, "You are prisoners, there is no escape."

One morning just after her captor came and went, Mother did something spectacular and freeing.

Mother made her way to the gate and with no effort opened it. Just like that. She opened a gate that had only been locked in the mind's of the captives.

Allow me to start this way. We sugarcoat too much. We try to placate the truth. Ignore the obvious too often. We would rather spread half-truths like fertilizer to a wilting crop than put full on honesty on a crop that has 1/2 a chance at coming back stronger next harvest. Why is that? More importantly, what is the harm in being more honest with one another? So at the risk of reaching for my fertilizer, I am going to try full on truth. Here goes. "We are all losing, until the moment we win!"
Over the years, I have made a lot of money helping other people win. I did not do this using fertilizer. I did this by getting them to face their truth. I could not have done anything without facing mine first.

I look at every situation first as a way for everyone to win. By this I mean, I don't want to walk all over anyone to get what I want. That play gets you nowhere fast. I look for ways to collaborate, see how everyone can come out a little better. Recently I fired someone from a project because no matter how hard I tried to get him to see otherwise, he measured every situation by gain and money. He never saw me coming and I was not the one to deliver the final blow. He made nothing out of the deal and those left standing did well.

Another time I went to a Caucasian male with a respectable level of success and made him a deal he soon understood was in his best interest to accept. I told him, I am likely to win the contract you hold now when it comes up for bid again. If you join with me now, I will split it with you 50/50. If you don't, you will end up with nothing. He took my deal. We both won! By the way, I never spoke with him directly, I asked to speak to the most senior female executive at his firm. I doubted he could handle a conversation like mine with a Black female from the other side of the country.

I win more than I lose at most things. It is not because I have the Midas Touch either. Well my husband often says I do. Anyway, it is more because I am really good at studying the landscape, sizing up opportunities, building winning teams, being willing to share the spoils, playing fairly, not allowing anyone to outthink me in my areas of expertise. I maintain open communication across the table, I don't sugarcoat bad news, I try to play three moves out. I don't back away from that voice telling me to go for it!

I recently learned I was being grossly underpaid on a contract I partnered with another firm to win. It was my contract to lose. I brought the team together. The client wanted me and I knew it. I went to my partner firm and said, I need you to fix this problem and I am allowing you a reasonable amount of time to do so. What they did not know is I had already given the paying client a heads up. I wanted my fair share, period. Now I just needed the partner firm to feel like they were in charge of addressing the issue fairly and in a timely manner. Either way, I would get the fairness I was after, one way or the other.
I don't seek credit for good works, I seek payment for good works. Credit does not spend. People respect you more when you stand up for what is rightfully yours.

I use discretion until it is time to open up my hand. I remain flexible. I am the quietest voice in the room until the environment nearly begs for my particpation. When I speak, it is only to add value. I am not the one who will regurgitate the obvious. I elevate the thinking.

​And in all of this, I never lose sight of the most important thing that matters. We are all losing until the moment we win! END OF PART ONE

It is now or never the Lifeguard told me.

But I am not ready I chided! What if I drown? What if I go under and I can't help myself? What if I can't find the edge? What if I go all the way to the bottom, push off and I don't come back to the surface? What if I can't hold my breath that long? What if I scream and no one hears me? What if water gets in my lungs? What if the water is deeper than I thought? What if I panick?

And what if you don't He responded?! What if none of that happens?

What if you swim, not perfectly, but good enough? What if over time you get better and better at it? What if sometimes you take a little water in your lungs and you are okay afterwards? What if you push off the bottom and you spring back up? What if you test the depths and each time you get in you push your limits a little more?

What if you actually become a pretty good swimmer, well enough to make it back to the edge every single time. Good enough to know your limitations. Able enough to ask for help before you jump in the deep end. Smart enough to know when you are in over your head. Bright enough to sense when you are getting in too deep. Sensing enough to know where the bottom is. Creative enough to develop a strategy for keeping water out of places it doesn't belong. Confident enough to ask for help when you sense trouble coming. Strong enough to get back in no matter what happened on the last time in.

And believing Me enough to know without a shadow of a doubt all of these is possible.
It is now or never. You ready? Go now. You are not on your own unless you choose to go it alone. It is your time to soar. What if you soar?

None of this would have been possible if she hadn't worn that sign on her forehead. The sign that attracts the wrong element. The element that seeks out its prey. But I am getting ahead of the story. Let me start this way.

When you are lonely and don't feel full, over time you start to adjust what you will settle for. You will make up happy endings where there are none to be found. You will lie, mostly to self. You will reset your standards usually in the downward position. By doing this you create an invitation for Problem. It doesn't take long. You can count to one hundred by twos, Problem is on the way.

By the time Problem makes it to you, chances are you will accept just about anything. That's not what you tell yourself of course, but it is true and most deeply inside you know that too. Problem creeps up on you seemingly having the appearance of Helpful at first. That time of having Helpful on the scene is just about the time needed for Problem to scope things out, study the surroundings. By the time you have caught onto Problem, things have changed dramatically starting from the time you created that first invitation. Problem has settled in by now and you are busy as a beaver trying to no avail to rewind your environment. Problem is winning. And before long, other Problems are ushered in.

None of this would have been possible if only. If only she had set standards that were unbendable. Problem doesn't stick around when there is no place to sit down. Problem doesn't stay where unwelcome. Problem can't settle where the ground does not allow Problem to grow.

Problem likes easy. And when it ain't easy for Problem to take over, Problem goes away and you settle back into lonely and not full. The problem was never Problem.

I know two types of people. Those who give and those who take. I have learned to appreciate and recognize both. I have been both. Thing is givers become very impatient with the universe when too many takers tilt it against them. Givers become agitated and suspicious. Then after awhile givers run and hide not out of fear but out of a desperate need to regroup and replenish. A need to top off our spirit in order to go back out there for the sole purpose of tilting the universe in our favor. In the favor of givers.

Givers are among you. You will find givers easily. We are not dressed in a certain way; there is not a secret code or language we keep to ourselves. We roam freely. It is not hard to find us. You will find us, as we are the first to step up, speak up, do up. Don't confuse us with takers disguised as givers. Takers are the first to tally up. You don't have to look for them. They find you.

Thing is about givers. We are sensitive types. We get worn out when the universe becomes constant consumers of our giving nature. We try hard to put on a happy face, to stand tall, look like our gravity is centered. But in truth, sometimes we teeter on exhaustion.

So if ever the universe seems eerily quiet and off-kilter do not dismay. It is because the givers have escaped to a quiet place of solace. A barefoot place. A place where we stare into the ocean and look for answers from the stars. A place where it is okay to cry and ask questions. A place where we hear voices from our ancestors who were waitng for our arrival. There are a lot of us. Teachers, priests, grandmas, dads, community activists. Givers abound.

And when it is time, we will rejoin you stronger, better, and more encouraged. And the universe will respond. Givers win by giving. Givers will take only whatever is given freely and in God's holy favor.